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Haunting Memories


#1

Do you guys ever have memories that haunt you to this very day? I had to spend a few hours at our hospital tonight for work and every time I go there it just reminds me of some really really shitty days. One time when I was 14 my mom and I decided to go see my dad at the hospital. He had just had a major surgery so he was recovering in the ICU. When we walked into his room he was dying. He was foaming at the mouth and unconscious. I don’t quite remember exactly what went down from there since it was all so long ago but I just remember a huge flurry of doctors and nurses trying to save his life. My mom was crying because she was just sure we had lost him that night and all I could do was hug her and make sure she knew how much I loved her. The nurses were on their motherfucking dinner break, not giving a single damn about anyone in their intensive care unit. I told my coworker that I hate hospitals and she asked me why. I tried explaining this story to her but all I could get out was that I walked in on him dying before I started tearing up and had to stop. (I know this app really is all about support & this type of stuff gets posted a lot, but I just feel the need to clarify that I’m really not looking for sympathy here, just a listening ear. This isn’t the type of stuff that I tell a lot of people, my coworker was the first person I have ever told about that event, like, ever. It seems to help me mentally though when other people just listen to some of the shit I have been through, & since it’s been on my mind all night I figured this would be a good place to unload. Thanks.)


#2

Hi friend,
Absolutely. I absolutely have those memories. That sounds really difficult that you had to stay at the hospital and deal with that. I’m sorry that you had to go through that, it’s really hard to deal with.
Thank you for feeling comfortable enough to open up to us. I understand if you don’t want much sympathy, so I’ll just say that we all love you and know that you can fight this. Dealing with haunting memories is really difficult, but I know you’re strong.
Love you friend. Stay strong. You got this.


#3

I’m really sorry you had to go through that. It sucks a lot. But I can promise you that I also have memories that haunt me. Memories that keep coming back whenever I am in a specific place or situation, hear a certain person’s name, see something that I associate with the memory, etc. It’s a shitty part about the way the human brain works, but I’ve found some solace in the fact that this happens for positive memories, too. It doesn’t manifest in quite the same way but it can be nice. To avoid too much sympathy as you mentioned…I’m really sorry you have to deal with having had that experience, but you’re definitely not alone and I believe you’re strong enough to overcome these memories.