Have so much anxiety

hello as some of you know my wife and i are doing in vetro fertilization and our egg transfer date is Thursday and i cant handle this anymore. i had a breakdown the other day over putting in a ceiling fan that didn’t work and after a month or so of not smoking i went and bought cigarettes. i have so many thought going through my head will it work will we have a miscarriage. if it works will i be a good dad. i am trying to be strong for my wife because i know she is doing all the work having to take shots and meds everyday and its her body that this is happening to but its my fault we have to do this in the first place. i feel like it be better for her if we never met and she found a better person. with all the anxiety i feel worthless and like i dont matter. sorry this if this doesnt make sense but i needed to get this off my chest

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@drsmerfmaster, on the subjects of your smoking, we all fall down sometimes and that’s okay.
If things are out of your hands (meaning you can’t really do anything, except in this case, wait), then it should have freedom from your heart as well. Breathe. You’re right to worry, but I ask you to have faith and let things play out as they will. I’m sure you will be a good dad. If that’s who you want to be, then you can do it
Hold fast

Doc, i’ve known you for a long time. I have no doubt you’ll be an amazing father. With your humor and your love for people you’ll be a wonderful dad as you are a wonderful husband. I know you have a lot going on and I am proud of you.
Keep up the good work brother, I’m proud to call you my friend.

Your wife is still with you. That speaks volumes in and of itself.

Be strong.

Dude, you are doing great. Stress gets us sometimes, all good in the hood. If you’re worried about being a good dad, then I know you’ll be a good one,because you already care so much! It’s hard and stressful in this process but just look forward to the little bundle of joy coming! And don’t blame yourself for this, it’s not your fault. These things happen, and your worth and self are more than that. You’re a gem! I hope all works great for you guys!!