Having Covid-19 is making me have an emotional crisis

[eternalsnshn]

This is my 3rd week locked in my room. I tested positive for Covid-19 2 weeks and 2 days ago. I’m usually a VERY active person. I do 2-2:30 hours of CrossFit DAILY, I have 3 jobs, I’m a nutritionist, teacher and CrossFit coach. Currently I’m just able to do the teaching thing, because it’s online.

I’m going crazy over here, I’m starting to think about just sleeping, not eating, and crying in my bed. I try to workout in my room, I try a lot of things, but I’m just crying right now because I can’t control this. I don’t want to infect anyone. But I see EVERYONE who gets sick just going out, right away 14 days of isolating.

My doctor is monitoring my condition and he has just done a test where I still come out positive. I know I can still last for OTHER weeks testing positive for covid-19.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I’m just crying uncontrollably in my bed. I just want to get out. I want my life back.

I feel like the world forgets about me, it’s like I don’t exist. I don’t want to get to the point of being sure that nobody needs me.

Oh, and it feels like my friends and my boyfriend forget about me. Not a video call, a minimum of messages.

But when I do many productive things, when I post everything on instagram, training, healthy meals, walks … everyone wants to talk to me, they want to be with me, now that I’m useless nobody talks to me. I feel very lonely.

Next Wednesday I see my psychologist online, but it feels so far away.

[Hoek47]

What an interesting yet difficult experience you’re going through. Not only are your totals increasing, but you also don’t have your healthy coping mechanisms available in the same way as the past. Great job reaching out to a community for support!

@eternalsnshn

I feel like the world forgets about me, it’s like I don’t exist. I don’t want to get to the point of being sure that nobody needs me.

This really stood out to me in your post. What is it about others needing you that is so important to your happiness?

[Daisy]

@eternalsnshn There’s nothing wrong with you. You caught a virus that you never wanted and then had to drastically change your life. It’s actually normal to be having such a tough time with how much your life has changed. People who don’t normally go to many places or don’t go out with friends very often (this is a lot but not all introverts) generally don’t have as tough of a time getting used to being quarantined from everyone else. We’re basically used to being by ourselves and some of us thrive not being near other people. Maybe I’m wrong, but from what you’ve said, it sounds as if maybe you’re an extrovert - it’s not natural for your body to be stuck in one place for an extended period of time and you thrive by being with other people. Considering you had to drastically change that at the drop of a hat, it’s normal to be emotional, maybe even depressed, about it.

I realize that you’re being quarantined for a longer period of time than others (kudos to you for caring enough about other people in the human race to extend the quarantine until your doctor says you’re good to go) but try to remember that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. One day (soon) you’ll be able to get back into a normal routine (or semi normal- it seems as if the whole nation is going to be locked down again pretty soon.) Is there anything (like a hobby) that maybe you’ve wanted to try that you were never able to do because of… well, life? Something that you could do at home, of course. If not, this would be a good time to try things that maybe you wouldn’t normally try. Knit, crochet, paint, read. (I’m not trying to infer that you don’t read - maybe there’s a book that’s been on your book shelf for a while, waiting for you to pick it up but you’ve been too busy for it.) I think maybe it would help you to look outside of what your life was like before quarantine and try to find something that would help you get through this time.

And don’t forget that while you may be by yourself, you aren’t alone. You can always talk to the people here at HeartSupport.

[NomadicWanderer]

I am so sorry you are going through this. I can’t imagine the frustration you are dealing with. It is hard enough being sick, but then to have to isolate until an unknown date. I am so, so sorry. I have been in quarantine for exposure and I am frustrated because I hate not being able to just go out and do what I want or see people. But to be sick, and actually not know when your isolation period ends. That has got to be so, so hard. When you need someone to talk to, reach out to us here. Feel free to reach out to me.