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Belongs to: Slaughter to Prevail - Viking - Therapist Reacts
@ hearsupport hi, i don’t talk to people, because i feel like i am getting hurt every time i try to talk to someone. This is based on my experiences in the past, (every time i said something, i got none or just an agressive reaction and i always wondered why cause at least in my mind what i said wasn’t even that agressive. Ok maybe a bit provocative from time to time but i still was confused when people reacted that agressive)
This is why i don’t have any friends and never had a girlfriend. Sometimes i listen to people, but i always wait for the people to talk to me and never talk to someone else by myself. It is even very hard for me, to write this comment and be that open.
Is it possible that you feel like something of an outsider, then when you try to enter a conversation, others look at you with a bit of surprise and curiosity? That kind of expression can be interpreted as hostility, or they make an made the impression that you are “aggressively” butting into the conversation. And a lot of that has to do with people forming cliques or tight little social groups that are not very welcoming to outsiders. That’s how it was in every school I attended.
I think it is a problem these days is that people are so wrapped up in social media that they are becoming increasingly uncomfortable communicating with others who are physically present.
It does take a lot of observation and practice to learn how to approach others in a way that they are comfortable with. I think people develop their communication style through trial and error. That being the case, the only way to improve relationships is to observe how others react to your approach. Rejection isn’t pleasant, but it can be used as an instrument of learning.
With all that said, I still often find it hard to enter into conversation with others. I think that’s because I am very introverted. As an introvert, when I try to be outgoing, it feels awkward and I believe others sense that. So, like you, I tend to wait for others to approach me.
I’m rarely around groups of people, but when I am, I tend to be a quiet observer and/or gravitate towards someone who also seems like an introvert.
@HeartSupport - Mental Health Community yes, everything you said is very true. And when it comes to people in cliques, i find it very hard to watch them having fun or just staying next to them. Cause i always become jelouse and wish to be part of the group.