This is my first time sharing my feelings here.
I’m 29/m from Brazil, my English is still on progress, so please excuse me if can’t express myself properly.
This is something I’ve been struggling with in the past few weeks.
I have to say that my struggle isn’t something as painful as many of you have been dealing with.
But I need to put these feelings into words to someone else to read.
A couple of months ago I met a girl, she is a fantastic person, but lately I feel she’s been kinda ignoring me. I can’t meet her in person, and she oftenly doesn’t reply my text messages.
After our first date, she told me that she wasn’t looking for a relationship, she wanted her freedom but she asked me if I still wanted to be with her with no strings attached. I said yes.
It had been a while since my last relationship, actually I wasn’t looking for anybody at that moment. But I liked the idea of having someone around to share some moments. Even wary of the situation, I tried to win her over.
After a month, she got sick pretty bad, but since I didn’t get in touch with her friends and relatives, I knew about that by her after she was getting out of the hospital.
Later she replied my messages less and less, and many times that I tried to reach her, she gave me short answers or even put me on hold.
This Monday I asked her what was she doing, she sent me a photo of a “casual” soccer match with a subtitle : “with a guy”. I felt like very conflicted, deep in my heart I wanted to ask her “wtf?”, but I couldn’t. I just asked if she was with someone else, and if the “other guy” had a name. She replied saying she was with him, and didn’t tell his name.
On that night I couldn’t sleep much, I felt so insecure, anxious and jealous, I could feel this darkness that I felt a few times in my short life once more. In my heart I want to believe she was only joking, because I don’t think she’s the kind of person that would deliberately hurt anyone like that.
On the next day I wanted so bad to confront her, I even prepared a present for her, so I could face her.
But after the day went by, this idea felt more and more wrong and deviant.
In the end of that day I had a change of heart. I wanted to step back of this messy situation, just tell her that I’m feeling hurt and insecure, and I don’t want to hurt her.
Right now I’m trying to meet with her and tell her I enjoyed being with her, but I can’t be with her anymore the way things are going now.
I couldn’t get to know her better to understand if she is dealing with any struggles or difficulties in her life. Maybe I went too soft on her. Or maybe she wasn’t ready to share with me.
I just hope she can find happiness somehow. Because I couldn’t help her with that.
Thank you for anyone that read this topic through the end.
Hope all of you can find true love in your lifes.
Please, keep sharing, keep supporting.
Love you guys!