I found out about Plur this morning. To the best of my recollection, I haven’t interacted with her in my almost 1 year (I think) on HS. When I read about it, it bummed me out. I felt for the people who were hurting, I was sad to hear the news, but I didn’t feel any connection at the time.
As the day wore on, the thought stuck with me. The idea that a real person who was loved is just gone. It started to eat at me.
Now I’m trying my best not to ugly cry over a woman I never interacted with who took her life.
The full range of human emotion is a beautiful and terrible thing. I wouldn’t have given this a second thought 6 months ago when I was on Pristiq.
So why do I feel this way? I’m a little spectral, a little computery, I don’t emote real well, and I have a scientific curiosity about my emotions.
I realized that she wasn’t just a stranger half a continent away. She was a part of this community. Our community. My community. The first community I where I feel like I belong, where I feel accepted and loved, and where my flaws and inner ugliness are supported instead of avoided, by people just like me. She was one of those loving and accepting people, and now I feel her loss.
Thank you all for giving me something I have never truly had before. Heart Support is so special to me. I don’t have to be perfect, or even good, to be here and be embraced. I love all of you.
From our failures we are refined Replacing frailty Allowing us to be, be redefined.