I’ve struggled with mental health for years now I was raped and beat from the age of 6 until I was 14 I have ptsd multiple personality disorder anxiety and depression I’ve taken medicine and seen therapist but nothing seems to work. I hate myself alot of times.
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Hey friend,
I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through. No one should have ever hurt you. You never deserved any of what happened, and I hope you know that it wasn’t your fault. The things you are dealing with right now, even years after and as a consequence, is absolutely understandable. I wish you didn’t have to carry that burden. I struggle with complex PTSD, anxiety and depression as well from violence I never asked for, when I was little and afterwards. It is heartbreaking to have to deal with the effects of someone else’s poor decisions and actions. A lot of times we feel guilty, helpless, broken beyond repair as if something was wrong with us while, really, these are only the manifestation of the fact that we are healthy. We knew what happened was wrong. We know how to distinguish what was good or bad, and by trying to heal from these traumas, we learn to restore a sense of justice into our hearts.
The hate you feel toward yourself is the hate that someone injected in you through their own hatred. It’s not yours. It doesn’t belong to you. And I want to encourage you to keep seeking help so you will learn, little by little, to recognise and push away all the thoughts and lies that never belonged to you. You deserve so much love, care and patience, including from yourself and even if doing so is very, very challenging.
What are the things that didn’t work with therapy? For meds and therapy, it’s really a matter of trying, eventually failing, but then trying again differently with that past experience in mind. It’s exhausting and discouraging at times. But you are worth the time and efforts it takes to invest in this process. The fact that it is not working so far says something about your needs - and no, it is not the confirmation of a thought that would tell you that you are broken.
Keep trying, friend. Keep seeking help. Consider looking after different types of therapy. I’ve heard for example that EMDR is really helpful for traumas. We live in a time when there are different options to consider. It’s worth it, friend.
I believe in you. Please lean on our community as much as you need. You’re not alone. You’re loved. There is so, so much more than the hurt you’ve been carrying. 
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From: Zephirah (Discord)
Hi. Its nice to meet you but I am sorry for what had happened to you. I want you to know that this abuse is not your fault. It should not have happened to you or anyone else. I know things seem like you cant get out of feeling the way you do but there is hope and we love you here. <3 Stay safe. Zeph
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Hi Friend
Thank you for your Post
Firstly may I say how dreadfully sorry I am that this happened to you. You should not have had to experience this.
You have had to go through so much and have clearly tried your very best to get help but as you have said it hasn’t seemed to have worked for you.
Unfortunately when it comes to medication for mental health disorders, there are so many different ones, some that suit you and some that don’t, some that have unpleasant side effects and some with very few. Some people are put on a medicine and it the right one and that’s brilliant, I personally went through many before I found one that suited me, (That was about 30 years ago though) they may have better ways of working it out now.
As for Therapy? again its finding a therapist that really helps, not all of them will suit. It can be a long haul but when you find the right one it will make a huge difference hopefully.
I would love you to give therapy another chance, I would really like to hear from you that you have begun to stop hating yourself because you are a valuable lovely person who deserves so much more.
I wish you well.
Much Love
Lisa 
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