HeartSupport_Fans Fans #149

I relate to a lot of this. A constant feeling of uncertainty, guardedness, powerlessness, always grieving over injustices I have personally experienced or have witnessed, a chronic health condition, and just never feeling like I can fully authentically express myself and be loved and accepted unconditionally as I fully am. It’s difficult to navigate for sure. I feel like an alien on another planet with a hostel race.

We still very clearly live at a primitive time in human history and that’s a scary realization to have. I’m glad you’re still expressing yourself through music after all this time. Take care.

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@chad_michael__ yes - this feeling of people only ever really understanding you in pieces, but no one knows the whole. Which makes relationships so frustratingly unfulfilling. Because there is a taste of connection, a sense of knowing, a glimpse of true acceptance, but in the end, it falls short. It is hard to be /partly/ seen, but mostly unseen. It almost compounds the loneliness because you have less hope that you could be known than if you had no relationships at all. The thought would be - well, at least if I /had/ friends, I could be known. But you do, and you still aren’t, and that is hard.

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From: Who.is

Sounds like you have been through so much and it’s impacted so heavily on you. I just want you to know that even if we are strangers, this community fully appreciates you and holds your worth high with all the love we can give. You’re not alone

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From: ᏒᎧᏕᎥᏋ

Hi Friend, I’m sorry that you are experiencing all these thoughts and emotions. It must be very hard to go thru and I hope that you can find some peace. You matter! ~Mystrose

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From: Mamadien

I hear the pain in your voice my friend and it sounds like you have struggled through these tough waters for a while. I want you to know that you are valued, you make a difference in this world, you are loved and you are stronger than you know. That you are sharing your struggle in an effort to encourage someone else is powerful. Please know that you are welcome to express yourself at Heart Support and you will be heard and respected for who you are, just as you are. Thank you for sharing my friend.:heart:

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From: eloquentpetrichor

Welcome to a place full of kindred spirits :hrtlegolove:

Feeling this way can be so difficult. I can complete relate to the idea that in many ways we are still in primitive times. It can be such a struggle but as long as we all keep talking about everything it can help keep things from becoming overwhelming. Thank you for sharing your POV and your words with us. Keep sharing and keep swimming. starts singing We’re all in This Together :hrtlegolove:

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From: twixremix

hey friend, there is so much weight on your shoulders and things you constantly have to fight through. i’m so sorry you have to carry this weight. it’s very difficult to find that person to love and accept us unconditionally but i truly believe they’re out there, you know? searching for them may be hard but the reward at the end of finding your person will be worth it. sending you love, comfort, and peace, my friend. you truly deserve any and all happiness this world can offer so hold fast because a better tomorrow is ahead. love, twix

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From: Taladien

Hey friend. I am so sorry you are experiancing this. I know it’s not the same, but I have experiance with Imposter Syndrome - I feel like I don’t deserve where I am, or what I’ve done. I couldn’t have done what got me here, right? I don’t deserve it. I fight that feeling each day. Though for me it’s in the workplace, I think it also applies to love life. What I’ll say is… yes, you absolutely deserve to be loved. Unconditionally, for absolutely who you are. Though it may take time, there is someone out there who loves you for you. You are worth the love you seek. You are heard. You are seen. You matter, friend.

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From: StarFox

Love is a beautiful thing. It has the ability to grow, multiple and become more than you ever imagined it would be. It is meant to be shared and kept safe. Be open to more opportunities to share with others and let it grow. Thank you for being a part of this world. You are strong. You are enough. You are valid. You matter. :yellow_heart:

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From: eagertuna0

Hi there, it sounds like you have a lot going on in your life and it’s so hard persist in the face of all those challenges. With that said, I’m proud of you for sharing and am confident that you will eventually be able to create meaningful connections with people who will love and accept you unconditionally. This process of building those connections can take some time, as painful and hard as that may be. But you will build those connections with time. After all, you do matter, you are valued, and I’m glad that you shared this with us.

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@heartsupportswat one thing that has really helped me a lot is this new book I’ve been reading called, “The Myth Of Normal” by Gabor Mate & Daniel Mate. It couldn’t be more relevant to so much of what is being said in the comments here. I’ve been listening to the audible version whenever I drive to work or when I’m cooking and it’s so eye opening. Thank you guys for taking the time to respond.

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Thanks for sharing how you relate! I agree about things being tough to navigate. Sometimes even self acceptance can be hard for me. I hope you can some day find a place where you feel right at home some day. Fully who you are.

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So hard to feel like there’s pain all around you and within you and before you and in front of you - like you’re in an ocean of it with no beginning and no end. It’s hard to find the willingness to keep swimming.

Compound that with the fact that you feel disconnected, alien to others. It’s like you’re swimming by yourself. And that’s scary AF.

There have been times in my life where I’ve felt similarly and they were dark times. Thinking about - what’s the point? Why keep going? And feeling like there’s no one on earth that would understand or give a shit.

I’m sorry you’re in that place, friend. It’s hard to feel the weight of all of that by yourself.

A big turning point for me during that time was that a friend reached out and invited me to go to his church. At the time, I didn’t feel like I had anyone who asked me how I was doing and cared to know my response. But I found a community of people who did - and feeling seen and cared for really lifted a ton of the weight off my life.

I imagine that if you didn’t feel alien to everyone else, it might offer similar relief, and I wonder if there is any community you could plug into that would bring you that sense of connection.

If none come to mind off the top of your head, you can always try here at HeartSupport - you can join our forum or our Discord and meet other people who are in similar spots. You could even join one of our groups and get connected to others. I know this isn’t a “perfect” solution, but if you need one to support you at the moment, it might be able to offer something for you right now.

Either way, so appreciate you opening up and thank you for your courage.

-nate

Wow. Your words hit so deeply as I relate so very much to what you have expressed. This feeling of having to be constantly on your guard, that the environment you’re in is inevitably going to hurt you again; this feeling of just not belonging in this world in which you have experienced firsthand injustices that should never happen in the first place; this rage inside that doesn’t know where to go when it comes to accepting that reality can be ugly; the chronic health condition on top of it… My heart goes out to you so very much. It is hard to find your way in a world that seems so brutal and chaotic, where it is so common to hurt and be hurt. It’s like longing for trust, but at the same time it’s incredibly challenging to give and receive it.

Very thankful that you expressed yourself as well, as these thoughts can feel so isolating over time. It creates this huge wall between you and others, and it speaks a lot that you still express this part of your inner life. I hope that, with time, this could be a way to open doors to people that genuinely care and want to share life alongside you, as well as sharing similar values as you. You absolutely deserve to express yourself fully, unapologetically, without needing to wear any mask or hide significant parts of your heart. <3