I’m sorry to hear that you’re struggling, but I hope you can move on from this experience. It must be hard. I know this because I can’t get out of that environment, and I love and hate my family of origin. They clothe, feed, and shelter me, but they keep a deep hold on my freedom and emotional needs. I know it’s not the right thing to do to deny myself, but I just feel like crap. I often feel like they don’t love me, they just love an accomplished child. I couldn’t find happiness in myself. I was sad every morning and every night. Somatization made me lose 15 pounds. But because of ricky, you made me feel like my life was okay, that I wasn’t alone. The energy in you gives me a lot of strength, so I really pray that you will get out of your predicament and be free. You are the most important person to me and I love you so much🖤@rickyxolson
@cupidricky im so sorry your family hasn’t been the best at helping you through the hard times, I imagine that being unwell and having those feelings have made their impact. You are so worthy of love and you don’t ever have to earn it. Thank you for being here and sharing a bit of your life with us
I’m a parent of teenagers. I am the family of origin to these kids. And when they suffer, I hurt in ways I never knew existed. A deeper level of hell. I am sooo sorry us parents screw up so much.
From: ᏒᎧᏕᎥᏋ
I’m sorry you suffer from Somatization, that must be horrible and frustrating for you. I’m so glad that Ricky has helped you feel like you’re not alone. It’s comforting to know that isn’t it. I hope things improve for you and know that you matter. ~Mystrose
i am sorry to hear that, it sounds really hard to deal with, especially when it comes to family.
you are not alone in this, you are doing great and be proud of yourself. you deserve all good in this
world, thank you for sharing your story with us. we will always be here for you. you matter my friend.
From: Mamadien
Thank you for being brave enough to share your experience. It sounds very frustrating to feel like your family isn’t understanding what you are going through. I hope that you are able to keep an open dialogue with them in hopes of promoting more understanding. Please do take care of yourself. I’m glad you posted.
From: Lisalovesfeathers
Hi Friend, Thank you for your reply, I am sorry that you feel a hold and not a bond with your family, have you ever really discussed this with them? is that an option for you? Your Somatization sounds very hard and complicated to live with and again a real worry in your life. What help do you get with that? I am so pleased you have found an outlet that is helping you to feel better about things and as you get older that will become easier and more fruitful for you. I wish you well. Lisa. x
Thank you so much for sharing a part of your journey. I’m so glad you found something in those moments where it must have been hard to over come feeling like your value lies in what you do and then in this change of living life with a stoma. It’s always so inspiring to see people like yourself reach out and open up a part of yourself.
It is really nice to see that Ricky’s words have been resonating with you and your story. Because yes, you are definitely not alone in your struggles - even if it takes one or two people to create this kind of connection at first. It sounds like you have been really strong and enduring a situation that should be so very different, and for such a long time. It is a heartbreaking realization but to acknowledge that our family - our very first people on earth - are somehow loving us in a way that is harmful, in a way that sets conditions first. No one should ever have to feel like they need to be a certain way in this world in order to earn love. Especially in our families, love should be something given, not a matter of deserving it or not.
In the midst of this situation and environment, it makes sense to have been feeling bad about yourself - even if it is of course unfair. Somehow, it is a way for the mind to make sense out of something that is just impossible to consider. So if it is our fault, if it is because we are unlovable, then suddenly the whole situation starts to make sense - even if the narrative is wrong. It also makes sense that your body has started to express this pain with its own language - and sometimes somatization is the only way it has to say “something is wrong”.
For what it’s worth coming from a stranger, I’m proud of you for reaching out, sharing your story, and for being aware that being unkind to yourself is not the solution. In my biological family, I have been in a position of having to earn compassion and care from my parents - by being a good child, a good student, and a caregiver -, which happened to be a very destructive path as I grew up. The grief and the amount of losses it brings feels unbearable at times. Although in the midst of this process, the most life-giving present I ever offered myself has been to intentionally try to walk on a path made of self-care, self-forgiveness, and hopefully one day self-love. Just because within there is still this child that I was and needs this care, patience and safety that they were not given in the first place. If my parents wouldn’t give it to me, I could still try to develop this for myself.
Your post here, your willingness to share and your thoughtfulness regarding the situation/how you feel, is such a strong step and manifestation of this fierce strength that is present within you. Ever since you’ve started to be in this world, you have always been deserving of unconditional love. A love that has no limits, no requirement, but would be present in your life because you are. You belong entirely. Regardless of what you accomplish or not. You belong because you have breath in your lungs, because you exist, and that is in itself such a huge gift to this world.
Thank you for sharing these parts of your story today. Keep cultivating grace and kindness to yourself, as much as possible. Your light is beautiful.