HeartSupport_Fans Fans #207

Angrier grief shame everything heart support

Yeah - hard to pinpoint one thing when it feels like it’s all linked. Hard to piece where to even start when it’s all just one jumbled mess. It’s like where do you want to start? Uhhhh, everywhere? What’s wrong? Uhhhh, everything? Can feel so impossible to even start. That kind of overwhelm can be the hardest thing to approach because it keeps us stuck in these lies like – whatever I do, I’m going to fail. I won’t be able to make a difference. Or just overestimating how much energy it will take to make change, and feeling like - I just don’t have it in me. Those kinds of thoughts keep us from starting anything good, and keep us stuck in the pit we find ourselves in.

Honestly, I find myself doing this in conflict with my wife. When I try to describe why I’m angry, it feels like, “EVERYTHING!!!” What am I NOT mad about?! But one of the best practices that my therapist helped me do when I’m in that space it to start to get really specific about the thing that initiated my frustration. Because all of the “Add on” angers came AFTER that, and if I could just trace my anger back to the source, it helps clear the air. Journaling really helps me work things backwards. I start to list all of the things I’m angry about, and as I put it all on paper, it helps me kind of clear my way through the fog, which is SO HELPFUL. Even just naming what it is that I’m ACTUALLY mad about almost always changes the way I feel in general.

If anything, just know that it’s worth it to fight against the overwhelm and despair. And if you can’t untangle it yourself, it’s okay to ask for help, to process things out loud with a friend, or with others. A lot of the times my mind is so jumbled I need someone to help me find my way through, ha.

Either way, GREAT JOB taking this first step to name the emotions, and just to get something out. That’s always the hardest part.

-Nate