@heartsupport I loved this video Casey! I miss Oregon’s filbert orchards! That is so cool that you were able to do that, I feel if I ever end up exercising I go all extreme with it and burn out really fast. I would like to start maybe doing something like going for walks or some movement I enjoy, and be able to form a healthier relationship with exercise. One that isn’t extreme and only focused on changing my appearance out of disgust of myself.
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It’s hard to feel like you muster up all of this motivation, you get going, you CRUSH IT, only to feel like you are absolutely going to crash within a short amount of time. It’s hard to re-engage in something when you’ve lot trust in yourself for seeing it through. And it’s hard /knowing/ you “should” be doing that thing anyways. And then it’s hard to feel like the only reason you have historically wanted to do it is because you hate something about yourself. So it just feels like there’s all of this focus on negativity and SHOULDS. Ugh. But I love the hope that you have in this - first, I am going to try again. That kind of defiance, even when things are really hard, that is beautiful. But second, trying again from a different angle - this isn’t about just “shaping up” or whatever. This is about developing a healthier relationship with MYSELF. THAT is powerful. Really excited for this new wind in your story.