HeartSupport_Fans YT Fans #2552

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@HeartSupport I absolutely protect myself with my mouth. It’s easier to be sarcastic, be a wise ass, be snappy, be angry, than it is to be open. If people can’t see that something’s wrong, they can’t exploit it. I’m loud and aggressive and that’s my shield.

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Hi Friend
I can totally relate to your comment, sarcasm is my defence mechanism and it has gotten me out of many an awkward situation, the problem is of course it also gets used so that you don’t have to share your true feelings.

Yes you are absolutely right they cannot exploit it, they also cannot help, support or have any understanding of why you are behaving a certain way which is fine if you are in a situation where you don’t care but from my own experiences there have been times where I have cared very much and I am still unable to bypass the sarcasm and say how I really feel (how about you)
It’s a very odd feeling to have people listen to how you genuinely feel and want to help but after the odd goes away and a little comfort comes in it is actually really nice to be able to say what is on your mind without searching for a joke or something that is negative to oneself. (it takes practice)
maybe its time to lower that shield just a little, not all of us are looking to hurt everyone. Good luck my friend. Lisa x

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I became the class clown for a couple of years as a self protective mask, so I get what you’re saying. In my case, my classmates got to know and like my self-deprecating mask, but didn’t really know me. As time went on though, I quit trying to be funny and just became withdrawn. It seems as though both of us had different ways of holding others at arms length. It can feel as though that is the only way to survive. Sadly, avoidance or wearing a mask shuts out those who could sincerely appreciate us.

To make it more complicated, the perception others have of us is very often a projection of the mask they are wearing and the feelings harbored behind it.

You are right, some will try to exploit it. At the same time, while behind the mask, those who would support you won’t realize they have an opportunity to do so. I feel that opening up to others is an “investment of trust,” that can increase the level of trust others have for us. Mutual trust and mutual respect go hand-in-hand, and usually, when it exists between two people, neither one tries to exploit the other. That’s not to say there aren’t those who will pretend to be trustworthy, in an attempt to exploit.

It’s worth considering, if one person is authentic and the other one is a jerk, who misses out on a positive and productive interaction? Whether it’s through avoidance or a behavioral mask, it filters out the good as well as the bad. I feel that it’s okay to accept the possibility of attempted exploitation in order to discern who is truly worth knowing.

Everyone has hangups. Most of us can be embarrassed. That doesn’t mean that you need to feel that there is anything inherently “wrong” with you. Making mistakes doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. Not having fully evolved social skills doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. You are a human in the process of growth. That means that in the ways that count, everything is right with you.

And it makes completely sense to protect yourself. Being openly vulnerable is like opening this door to others that enables trust, but also holds the potential of being hurt. When you cover all of it with sarcasm or anger, at least you remove somehow the possibility for others to use your fragility against you. It is a human way to react, and it’s completely understandable to feel this need to protect yourself as much as possible. In relationships, there is something about unpredictability that can be very scary.

I hope that, through this knowledge that this is your shield, you still manage to allow some trusted people to access to these sides of you that don’t need to hide. There is something about developing authentic relationships that is truly special, and that you absolutely deserve to experience as well in your life. Somehow, wearing a shield all the time can be exhausting and isolating. With the right people though, we can give ourselves permission to be us, and to be fully respected in return. <3

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