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Belongs to: Therapist Reacts to LEAVE ME ALONE by NF @HeartSupportHeartSupport
as context, i have an abusive relationship with my father, at the moment i am 12. my doubts are if i do something i feel is a great accomplishment (beating a game, doing extra chores, earning money on my own, etc.) i’m afraid my dad will beat or hit me if i ask for a break after hard work, or say “not good enough” when i show him my work, and hit or beat me, or verbally and mentally assault me. i’m pouring my heart into this comment and i really hope you read it. i need something as a recommendation to get help. (edit: i forgot to mention he gets me amazing stuff for my birthdays to test me and take it away for himself, please, if anyone can help even a tiny tiny bit, that would be truly amazing for me…)
That’s so incredibly brave of you to share what you’re going through. I want you to know that who you are and the value you have as a human is never based on the things you do.
When there are people we love (or that we believe want to love us), it can be so hard to see things clearly in the moment. So for the sake of clarity, and the sake of you, I want you to know that what you’re describing is not okay (even when he gets you amazing stuff etc).
It doesn’t sound like you think it’s okay - but just to hear it from someone else, it’s not.
Here are a couple things you can do to get help.
Contact CPS in your state. CPS stands for Child Protective Services. Most state CPS departments have contact information readily available.
Contact a trusted adult. It could be someone at a place of worship (church, mosque, synagogue, etc), someone at a school, or someone in your extended family. Someone you trust to do what’s best for you and keep them safe. Share with them what’s going on, and ask if they would help you by contacting CPS.
Reach out specifically to your school and talk to the counselor. They’ll have some resources and be open to conversations (even during summer break).
I am so sorry you’re going through this. I hope you’re able to reach out to someone near you and get help. You deserve to have people advocating for you and helping you!
I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. You absolutely do not deserve this. No one does. A parent’s job is to protect and support their kids. No one is perfect and all parents fail every now and then, but there is a huge difference between letting your kids down and actively harming them and abusing them. It’s a huge step to reach out here and talk about it. It must feel like you are alone and that no one could understand what you’re going through, but I promise you you’re not alone and there are people who care about you. We care about you, to start. Please keep reaching out. We at heartsupport want to hear from you and we’re here to listen.