Good Afternoon dear friend.
That sounds so so difficult. To feel like even though youâre trying to make change, depression keeps dragging you under. I imagine that feels like you cant ever truly make progress. One step forward and two steps back.
Im so sorry friend.
I dont have the best advice. Im not a professional or a therapist or anything.
But there was a time where I felt similar to you. I knew something was up. My emotions were all over the place. Id go through what felt like ups and downs with my mood and energy. Some days Id want to do everything and Id be able to function with a clear head. And other days, i felt like nothing mattered.
It made it hard to want to do anything on the good days because I knew a bad day was going to come through and sweep it all away. It was really reallyâŚdefeating. It felt hopeless.
I still dont have the best answers. I understand my body and mental health a bit more. I understand that with some mental health disorders, your body changes. Parts of your brain function differently than they ordinarily would. In my case, I think I may have ADHD, which means that my brain doesnt always make enough dopamine. And dopamine is responsible for feeling motivated, feeling a sense of accomplishment, etc.
In that way, thereâs never a world where I could just âset a routineâ or âthink differentlyâ because physically, my body is lacking some necessary chemicals.
I dont know what youâre situation is exactly - but perhaps this is something for professionals to try and help with, if you have access?
Outside of that, I want to say that I dont think youâre a broken person. I think that, like so many of us, this is a hand youâve been dealt and youâre just doing your best to get by. And thatâs ok. Your emotions are ok. Theyâre valid and you are valid. And I hope you know that.
Feel free to post on the heart support wall and keep us updated. Weâd love to hear back from you.
Hold fast, ok?