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@heartsupport I was left behind by my parents at my grandparents house as a child. I built up so much anger towards them, and it took a long time to forgive them and only wish I had done it earlier than I did. #heartsupport
Hi Friend, That must have been tough as a child, you must have felt abandoned and yes angry and those feelings do not disappear overnight, it is understandable that you held on to them for a long time but the only time it is too late is when they are no longer here to build a relationship with. It sounds like things are better now so try to not be so tough on yourself, have grace with them and with you and enjoy your time as a family. life is short, make memories. xx
Forgiveness isn’t something that happens after a “correct” amount of time; it happens when you have processed what has happened to you and can understand the reasons why it happened. I can totally understand wishing that you’d had that extra time, but that is with hindsight through the lenses of forgiveness. You took the time you needed and that, for you, was the right amount of time. x
Sorry to hear you had this experience with your parents. Feeling abandoned by your parents, especially at such a vulnerable age is incredibly difficult. My dad abandoned me at a young age, and personally I still find it difficult and I’m in my early 20s. I totally understand the anger you have towards them, for me, I resent my dad, and I don’t ever see that changing.
Forgiveness is tough, and it’s a process. It involves working through complex emotions, and sometimes accepting that sometimes we just have to move on, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because we deserve peace. I’m glad you were able to forgive your parents eventually, even if it did take some time. However, it is only natural to wish you’d forgiven them sooner.
Everybody’s healing journey is different. What matters most for you is that you were able to find it in your heart to forgive and let go of all that anger, in order to create some inner calm and peace. This shows you to be a mature person, which is great!
Continue to be gentle with yourself, and remember that it’s okay to have rough days
It’s okay if it took time for you to get to the point of forgiving them. what you have experienced, abandonment, is a type of wound that can take a life time to be acknowledged, named and processed as such. It hurts very deeply.
When you felt like reaching a state of forgiveness, it was the right time - your time. It’s understandable though that looking back it must have felt like time or energy has been wasted. Somehow, it’s easier to see things from a different perspective once we’re not in the very process of trying to find our way. things become more clear, or at least less cluttered by the way we feel.
You had to undergo a personal journey that was highly significant and impactful, and even if it had not led you to forgiveness - which would have been absolutely okay too -, every step you took has been worth it and was absolutely valid. We need to explore and wander in order to find what resonates the most with us, to forge our very own path in light of our personal story.
It is beautiful that you are now here and able to speak about it. Wishing your family and you a lot of peace and healing.