Heartsupport my heart is just to dark to care snuf

This is a topic from YOUTUBE. Reply as normal, and we will post it to the user on YouTube.

@HeartSupport
“My heart is just to dark to care” Snuff. You’ve covered this song since this video was released but that line is one that seems to reverberate with me a lot. Personal context 10 years of DV and constant verbal and psychological abuse, which has resulted in depression and self harm

2 Likes

I relate a lot to this too. I felt for a very long time that there were so many things I just couldn’t share with people, because they were too dark/depressing, and I didn’t want to bring that stuff to light for the people around me. I have since found that bringing it up, and letting it out can prove to be very therapeutic. As long as it is being done in a safe place, and with understanding people. I think that part is important, because sharing in an unsafe place, and to the wrong people can result in deterring us from sharing again, but here it is okay to share your dark heart and let it out, if you feel the need to do so. <3

I’m sorry to hear about your struggles with DV. I found it so hard to relate to other people with all the darkness I experienced with my own traumas and it can be hard to make those first steps to get help, but you’ve done well to connect with us here. I don’t know if you DV is something that’s in your past or currently on-going, but I can relate to a similar pain for myself and hope you’ll find yourself one day with less darkness in your heart.

That line is indeed so profound. It’s such a beautiful yet heartbreaking way to express that there’s only so much one soul can take. At some point, the pain is too suffocating, and it is as if your mind has to completely disconnect you from your feelings - the ones that hurt but also the ones that bring good things - in order to protect yourself. It’s like having no choice but to renounce on life itself because the reality of the world would be too cruel and there would be no way to find peace in it. It’s alsmot like condemning ourselves to live a cheap life that no longer has the same flavor, being aware of it, somehow regretting it, but also feeling like it’s the only viable path moving forward. At some point welcoming others into our life feels too much like a risk - for love can also carry pain, hurt and suffering.

I’m so very sorry that you have experienced domestic violence and years of abuse. You have been treated in ways that no human being should ever be treated. In light of what happened to you, it makes completely sense to have been struggling with the aftermath of it, to have known firsthand the struggles of depression and self-harrm. What you’ve been through was highly truamatic, and it’s hard to find our way in life when we feel like our own story has to be re-built somehow entirely. It’s such a hard, heavy and unfair burden.

I have myself suffered years of abuse and voilence as a child, and to this day it keeps haunting me, even though there’s been a lot of progress too. It’s hard to dissociate the person we are from the wrong that was done to us, once we acknowledge how unfair and bad the situation was. It’s hard to keep trusting others too. There are days when I feel unable to walk out of bed, and it’s hard to accept that as being a part of my reality - especially when it stems from someone else’s actions.

If this lyric resonate with you now, it may resonate differently in the future though. Your own healing may be composed of relearning to trust others with yourself, little by little, while knowing the reality of what you’ve been through and how deeply it has affected you. Your story isn’t meant to be entirely conditioned by what happened to you in the hands of that person, for you are unique and beautiful individual who has a path ahead to keep forging. You have the capacity to unfold your wings and to keep shining your light, as you always deserved. You matter, so very much.

I am so thankful for you as you chose to share about it here today. Hold Fast, friend. <3