This is a topic from YOUTUBE. Reply as normal, and we will post it to the user on YouTube.
Belongs to: Therapist Reacts to Monsters by Shinedown @HeartSupport This video is rough because my father was a Marine, Served Vietnam, and Beirut Lebanon (was a peace mission) & they were attacked killing 220 Marines. He horrible things he saw. so when i was born he had his monsters, and used the drink to get away from them. Through all that stuff in a way he ended up passing Monsters down to me. Its like Trauma passed out in a way. I struggle with mine. Somedays im chillin drinking tea with my monsters, and other days its like looking into an abyss /w it looking back. Two songs that sort of help me feel “Powerful” with in my self is Like a storm - Love the way you hate me, and DIMMU BORGIR - Gateways (LIVE - FORCES OF THE NORTHERN NIGHT). They sort of give me momentary strength to get though that moment of darkness where you feel like your falling.
I’m sorry for father being in a peace mission. That must be awful for him to witness. I would have been traumatized too if I was in your father’s place. Drinking isn’t the best solution to fight his monsters. Trauma can be passed to each generation. I used to have trauma so I understand on how you feel. You feel stuck in the past with your monsters. This an option for you and your father, you don’t have to go if you feel uncomfortable. What about seeing a therapist related to trauma & attend support group about trauma? This can help you express your frustration to someone. I feel when you talked with an individual it makes me happy that another person can relate to my situation. Have you ever discuss your father about how’s his trauma is affecting you? People kind of underestimate for trauma even if you are healed. There are days that you might have a flashback due to a trigger. If that happens to you, take a deep breath and look at your surroundings to be distracted from the trigger. I love how you mention music helps with for trauma. Music helps me calm down too. In my life, I wanted to give up but I told myself someday I’m going to be happy & successful. Don’t let one bad day affect your mood. People are going to have good & bad days. That’s totally normal. I’m always here to support you.
I’m sorry, friend. Generational traumas is such a heavy legacy to inherit. You saw your dad being haunted by his own monsters, saw him during some very intense times of struggle in his life in which it seems that he tried to survive and escape from these demons. But as you grew up and witnessed all of it, it also happened to be a part of your environment, of your own sense of “normal”, even if deep inside it always felt wrong. It’s really hard to experience such powerlessness as a kid, to face the brutality of life that way, and to keep on struggling with it as an adult. I come myself from a quite dysfunctional home, with parents who themselves grew up in traumatic environments. It has been a cocktail of brutality that forced me to realize, as a young adult, the weight I’ve been carrying ever since and came from them. At 31 yrs old I’m still battling it, and as you said so well there are days when you make peace with your demons. But other days it feels like seeing a different side of them, one in which they are completely unleashed and overwhelm you. Those days are hard and can make you feel like you’re just too broken, unable to function like other human beings.
If anything, you have been absolutely resilient for keeping on trying, surviving, coping, and for sharing about your story here. Your understanding of these patterns, how it works and how it affects you, is a strength my friend. One that our parents didn’t necessarily have, or at the very least didn’t really want to see. By opening up as you did here, you are doing the courageous work of bringing perspective, and with time changing the narrative. Because these demons are not meant to define your entire story, my friend. You are so, so much more.
