I know it’s really odd for someone to talk about Self harm or things like this. But lately I’ve been feeling terrible. I thought I found the guy I was going to spend my life with, and turns out he just wants to have fun. And he told be I am intense, this really hit me hard because I don’t like to be intense at all, nor toxic. And now I’m constantly asking to people or even myself if that’s true.
I don’t feel my self anymore, and don’t know what to do, I kind of am in this relationship that hurts but can’t seem to know how to get out of it.
I love him but he doesn’t.
Besides that I’ve been feeling so low that I can’t remember what my passions are, I don’t have anything to live for. And I recently heard this question “why do I choose life?” And I don’t have a clue why, it’s like I’m just living. Like everybody else is doing great things and I’m sitting still, drowning in my thoughts, with no knowledge of how to continue.
My anxiety has gotten worst and worst and now i keep thinking about being dead.
As with the relationship, it’s NEVER bad to know what you want and what your expectations are and should not be ashamed of KNOWING what you want. This guy knows what he wants and it’s not the same as you. That happens and it stings. But I’ve been there, and oddly it’s hard to get out thinking things can change, but the moment you get out of that situation and take a look from the outside you’ll question why you felt like that.
You will get through this, it may seem hard and hell, it may aswell be hard. but when you see the chance to leave this situation, take it and run with it. You’re a person too, you deserve exactly what you want.
I’ll be creeping in here from time to time for replies. but Keep going, you got this even if you need a hand, you’ve made the right step on what could be a very bumpy road, but here you are walking it and ROCKING it! keep moving!
I’m gonna pull this out of your post and focus on it. I just left a guy after almost 6yrs of making excuses for him for the way he treated me because I thought I needed him in my life. It’s been over three weeks now and guess what? I actually don’t need him.
If you’re in a relationship where one or both of you “need” that person, then it’s not a healthy one.
There is always a way out and I know it doesn’t seem like it but there is. I don’t know your situation, but there are places you can call to get help if your situation is bad enough.
Getting rid of the dark cloud over my head has really helped me in more than one way. I feel a little lighter and freer as time goes by and I’m really glad I woke up and changed things.