here I am back again day 2, sorry if it annoys anyone if I write on here a lot, but the idea of having a place to write is overwhelmingly relieving. Tonight I’m in bed in the dark alone, I can’t do anything but feel everything. I’ve been trying to think all day of anything to get to feel better. I can only conjure the feeling of being broken, damaged goods, and alone. I’m supposed to go to work tomorrow and the thought of going is even hard. I’m watching the to write love on her arms movie because the only thing that makes sense is her story. I don’t feel like I belong today, I feel outcasted with no purpose. I cant think to do anything but put these words in this box the most of these seemingly make no sense to me. I don’t know what my next step is. Im just here for now probably will just be putting words on a page trying to make sense of whatever is going on. I guess for now that’s all. Thanks for letting me write
Thank you so much for being here. There’s no need to be sorry for sharing your heart, really, that’s why this place exists. I’m glad you feel safe enough to write down your thoughts and share it with us here. As you said, writing can really feel like a relief. So please never be sorry for using a healthy resource in order to get things off your chest! If it matters to you, then it’s important and worth to be said.
I’m sorry you’re feeling lonely tonight, also like you don’t belong. From my humble experience, I know that when the night comes, I tend to feel overwhelmed by sadness, and just a general sense of being alienated from the rest of the world. It feels like time has stopped and we’re looking at our life with a larger perspective, which can be depressing if we feel vulnerable already. It’s okay to let yourself feel those emotions just as they are, but also to not let yourself drown by it.
Tomorrow is another day, another 24-hours of new possibilities. Maybe you could use a different road when you come back home, after work, and enjoy a small walk, the environment around you. Or maybe you could plan something to reward yourself at the end of the day. A chill and cosy activity, something that would make you feel alive and at peace. Or even just waking up earlier and see the sun rising up? Through small actions, you can break the monotony of a certain routine, and take care of yourself as much as possible.
You belong, friend. There’s a lot of beauty to seek and embrace around us, even if it’s hard to see it sometimes, just like there’s a lot of beauty within you. I hope, with all my heart, that you will see that beauty reflected on you in times to come. In the meantime, we - as a community - are here for you as well.
I hope you enjoy your movie and will have a restful sleep later. You are loved, sincerely.
Thank you for coming and bringing your feelings with you. I have written to deal with my darker times all my life, but I never had the courage to share what I was feeling with others until after those feelings had passed. I applaud you for reaching out, and I offer you a regenerating virtual hug. Use it as often as you need for a little love and encouragement throughout your day. Keep writing when you need to, and know that I don’t believe that you are broken or damaged goods, and you are certainly not alone.
Thank you so much @Caveman I’ll keep that virtual hug in mind and send one right back to you. It was hard to type my feelings out still is sometimes, makes me nervous to type sometimes but it’s been easier than looking someone in the face, it helps to vent it though. It took being maxed out to talk but here I am haha. This community has been amazing to me and the videos on heart supports YouTube have been helpful. I just made a decesion to live and not only live but live happier so if it means talking it’s what I have to do then I’m doing it so I appreciate your support my friend thank you! So much
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