Hey Guys, It's Been Awhile

[Monkey]

I’ve been thinking about typing this up for a bit, but have had a few things come up, and overall just been very very busy.

So I guess a few big updates, I’m engaged. My boyfriend of almost two years proposed at the end of June. We plan to get married in October of 2022, and I couldn’t be happier.

I’ve moved to Minnesota, currently working in an Urgent Care center. Working in healthcare is very very rough right now, with the world we live in (going to leave out detail as it could be a trigger for some people).

Broke my foot a couple of days ago now, and well with that comes medication, that I chose to refuse, because I don’t want to put myself into a situation where I feel like I’ll relapse or lose the control I’ve gained over time.

I guess here’s the struggles right now:

My anxiety just seems to be bad. It’s really just been the last couple of weeks. The more we plan for the wedding the more stressful it comes. My biological mom abandoned me when I was young, and was very emotionally abusive, and now I’m being guilt tripped by people to involve her in my wedding, and it’s messing with my head.

My fiance’s mom got pissed, after I discovered she had been stealing my prescriptions. And when I confronted her about it, she basically said she didn’t want to be a part of my life anymore. But then reached out to my fiance, and was pissed we weren’t involving her in the wedding. And has been trying to guilt trip me. And my logic is if you told us you wanted nothing to do with us, why the hell would I involve her in my wedding…

Anyways, sorry if this seemed long wended, but wanted to give an update, for those who remember me.

For anyone I ever did wrong, just know I apologize. And I hope all my old friends here are doing well.

Much Love,
Monkey (Olivia)

[Micro]

Hey @Monkey,

Congratulations for being engaged! This is such beautiful news and I can imagine how it is both exciting and stressful to prepare the wedding. It’s an important event in your life and you naturally want it to become a sweet memory when you’ll think about it in the future.

As for inviting your biological mom, this is a decision that belongs to you. It’s your day, and it’s about your relationship with her. Unfortunately, for that kind of event people always tend to have opinions about everything while, really, it’s none of their business. What matters is that at the end of the day you are at peace with the decisions you’ll make. If you want to invite her, then you have your reasons and it has to be respected by people around you, whether they approve or not.

I personally don’t speak to my mom anymore because of past abuses, though my partner and I are fiancés, and the question of inviting her or not the day we’d get married is definitely something that crossed my mind. It’s the same with major events of life. On one hand, it feels special and a bit our of the rules and conventions we apply in our daily life. On the other end, the relationships are marked by a history that we cannot ignore. These decisions are already diffiicult to make. You surely don’t need people to guilt-trip you. For what it’s worth, know that we’d encourage you here, no matter what are your decisions regarding this. It belongs to you.

As for your partner’s mom, that’s indeed a tough situation. Her reaction makes sense, even though it’s totally unfair. Being confronted about something we try to hide can provoke that kind of reaction made of rejection and putting the responsibility on someone else. Somehow, the wedding is an excuse there for a situation that hasn’t been resolved/found a good closure. I don’t know if you intend to try to discuss with her, and with your partner, to see if you could try to build this relaionship on a healthier basis in the future. although I hope for all of you that you could find some peace and healing. What she did was wrong. Though I hope the situation could calm down for all of you.

I imagine how all of this is stressful, and somehow time goes fast, but you still, objectively, have a lot of time to think about all of this. Make sure that the process doesn’t become too stressful to you. It will be, inevitably, but it’s important to keep this process balanced so you wouldn’t overwhelm yourself too. This is all about love. Everything else will always be, somehow, secondary - even if it’s important of course.

I hope you also take care of yourself regarding your work and recovery. Take it easy. Be kind to yourself. Your heart matters and, sometimes, the world can wait for a bit.

[Ashwell]

Hi Monkey (Olivia)
Thanks for keeping us updated. I am sorry you feel under such pressure. I think you should not feel bad about what happened with your fiances mom. She brought it on herself and did nothing to win your trust back so she can get the hell out of your lives. If she wants to go back she will have to do the firts step, not you. Try to focus on the bright side tho. Soon you will be married to the person you love the most. I wish you all the best and I hope you will be happy.