This took a lot to post because I don’t like sharing a lot about my life with other people but last night I relapsed with drugs and almost died. I hit such a low last night and what caused this could have been a lot of factors. Due to the fact lately I’ve felt so damn alone, unloved and unwanted by people. I had my life on track for a little bit and was happy but every time I start to get back on track I just fall back down to where I started and sometimes end up worse then I started off. I hate being stuck in this loop and hate this feeling of being so alone.
Taking drugs will only worsen your situation
If you don’t want to be alone then you have to do something about it.
You have to be able to get yourself out there and make friends. Go volenteer or something
Taking drugs and harming yourself won’t make anything better even if you think it feels good.
Adam, I just hope that you are back on the wagon today - we can only take these addictions one day at a time. The most important thing is that you didn’t die and you here today, to reach out and share your story and ask for help. You are so much stronger than you realize. You are never alone, we’re always here for you - just a DM away or even just a forum post. You don’t ever have to be alone again. I wish that I could help you get up and stay up - but, unfortunately that is a very personal struggle, all I can do is offer to listen when you feel like giving up or if you are feeling alone. I’m glad you’re here, I want you to be alive, happy and healthy. I love you, even though I don’t know you.
Adam thank you for sharing. It’s hard to share when you feel like nothing will get better. I know that feeling all too well. For the past few days I’ve been keeping my feelings inside because I didn’t think anybody would understand. I felt invalid. But I know that it will get better for the both of us. Trust me it will! Again thank you for sharing. We love you friend. Hold fast
I remember the night that I overdosed in an attempt to take my life… It was 7 years ago and I remember everything about that night. I felt just like you. Alone and unwanted. I couldn’t escape from all the abuse and hatred happening at home and in school, I had no one. The people who were supposed to care, didn’t. I’m more than a year into my recovery, and I still feel like that sometimes. There’s so much going on right now making me feel a little more alone than normal, because, physically… I am now alone and it’s scary. I know now that I have people that care about me within this community, and it thanks to their encouragement I even started my recovery… Honestly, at the very start of my recovery, if it wasn’t for these guys, I would probably have ended my life before hitting even 6 months… I’m doing a main share at my NA meeting tomorrow, meaning I share my story, and I’m terrified. I’ve never spoken about my story outside of this community, so I know how hard this was for you. The build up to it is terrifying, I question everyday whether I’m even worth my recovery… but, again, I trusted these guys to keep me on the right path, and here I am… Still alive and clean. When you’re in this addiction, it feels like you’re never going to get out, you feel like it’s going to be the rest of you life because facing life on its own terms is too painful, and I’ll be honest, when you get clean, that doesn’t get an easier unless you really dig deep and address the root of it… and it’s freaking painful and those feelings will still be there… thats why you surround yourself with people who lift you up - even if it’s this community, because, that’s all I had at the start.
I thought I was a lost cause. I didn’t even want to recover to begin with. But, if I can do it, you can too.
I’m sorry you went through that. I couldn’t imagine it being on your shoes. Even though I don’t understand you or know you well, but I just wanted to let you know that you are loved. This community loves you. God loves you. I love you too. I’m grateful you are still alive. Keep fighting!
I wish I had more than mental hugs. I have been in loops and they can break you… thank you for saying something. I’m glad you said something. very glad.