From pluffy_f: i am hopeless. i have i am suicidal and nothing seems to help. my home live is miserable; living in poverty, family constantly degrading, always handed the short end of the stick, and more. i am having trouble with controlling or eliminating my mental problems, which are anxiety, adhd, depression, and schizophrenia. these all in some way have made me begin having |suicidal thoughts and sh|. i often sit alone in my room thinking/attempting the things mentioned in the last sentence because i have no motivation to do anything else. i am very lonely and never have the chance to see my friends outside of school (which has ended for now) and getting a partner is futile because i am socially awkward and rarely go to events. i have no hobbies i can have interest in for longer than a month because of my adhd, and my only skill is trap shooting (a clay shooting sport) which i cant always do when i feel down. i dont care how my family or freinds would feel if i did kms because i would be dead and it wouldnt effect me.
i am not a good person and i get very selfish at times. i often hurt people, mostly on accident, but sometimes on purpose and i feel really bad about it after the fact, especially when it is on accident. 90% of the day i keep thinking about everything ive done wrong in my life and why i have been created to live in this cruel reality. this usually leads me to |sh or attempting suicide|. i have contacted a few hotlines for |sh|, but the recourses and exercises they have given me dont work every time and i have begun doing it daily again.
this is one of my last ropes i am so desperately trying to hold on to.
1 Like
Hello pluffy,
I"m so glad that you decided to reach out. I’m terribly sorry that you’re going through all that, but first I want to commend you for being strong enough to actually make attempts to get help and realize what the problems are. That can be the absolutely hardest step. I know it was for me!
There’s a lot going on, for sure and it can be overwhelming. Especially when you have multiple problems going on. And add on to the fact that family isn’t being supportive from the sounds of it and being financially bound, it can make seeking help extremely hard. There are a multitude of programs though that can help you with getting the aid you need with little to no cost. I know you mentioned you’re in school, are there any types of counselors or anything like that there that you can talk to? Even calling the school or school district, they may be able to get you connected with someone that can have more information, even during summer break. There’s other options with non-profits as well, like the ADAA and NAMI that may be able to get you connected.
The key is you definitely want to be able to speak to a professional about it, because you deserve to get the help you need. You’re a strong person, pluffy. I can sense that. You deserve to be happy and live the life that you want to live.
PLEASE please please keep us updated. <3
Hello @pluffy_f, I am truly sorry to hear that you are going through so much in your life, I want you to know that Heart Support is the rope that you can keep holding on to because we are right here with you, and you are not alone. The truth is I understand how it feels to live in poverty, to be so lonely that you can’t even breathe, and I am no stranger to social isolation. My cure to all of these things is prayer. I am not telling you to be a Christian. I am telling you to find something that you believe in with all of your heart, find something that is worth living for because the world needs that light that is inside of you. In closing, I want to tell you to keep going because life has so many amazing things in store for you!
1 Like
From pluffy_f: The thing about finding help outside of being anonymous (like heart support or helplines) is really hard because I am afraid of my family knowing the mental problems I am going through, so scheduling a pro would be very hard. I said this before, but my anxiety gets the hold of me most of the time, so when I do try to open up about something I freeze and cant think. This also goes the same way with counselors, who would tell my parents about my situation and the anxiety.
I know telling my parents would help, but I do not know their reactions or their solutions to my problems. I also hate being judged and dont want them to take something the wrong way.