As many of you guys know I went to Virginia for the last eight days and well when I got home on Sunday I didn’t really know what to expect. But before getting into that lets talk about the trip.
Overall the trip was phenomenal. The first half was spent with family from Virginia hanging out, touring dc, going to fancy dinners etc. I had a blast.
The second half was squad con. A Christian gaming convention hosted by god squad church and let me tell you it was absolutely phenomenal. With that being said, what many people didn’t know is that I had plans to get baptized Thursday night, and well I did.
Going up to it I was very anxious. I was pacing. I went and sat alone outside and cried, and they had to come get me to get me to come set with them in service to get ready for the baptisms. I knew I had anxiety but this was something much deeper, this was a fear. Not of what would happen in that moment, but the repercussions when I got home.
The next few days were amazing. I continued to build strong friendships, connected with old friends, and met a lot of new ones. I spent a lot of time with God. Just worshiping him, praying to Him, and spending time with believers. And man was it powerful, God moved and did amazing things.
And then Saturday came. I was dreading this day for awhile. This was the last day of squad con. The day I had to say my goodbyes/ talk to you laters. And I would be leaving to fly home early the next morning. But there were a few conversations I needed to have before I got home.
The first conversation was just a thank you. A thank you for all this person has done for me, for being a mentor, a shoulder to cry on and someone that I look up to and love dearly. This is the person who has walked along side me, prayed with me, and was actually the one to baptize me.
The second one was probably the hardest. This person I had honestly really only had one serious conversation with, and it was over emails. But what he didn’t know is when he sent that email I was on the verge of ending it all, but stepped back after reading the email. And him reminding me that I’m not alone, that I have God and God can heal me. This was a very very tough conversation.
Then there was the last conversation. This conversation was kind of split between the days when I had time to talk to him. But I expressed that I was scared to go home. Home has never been a safe place for me. And unfortunately when I got home it still wasn’t.
I have a long journey ahead but I refuse to deny the God who saved me! I will stand firm in my faith and believe that God has a plan.