I could really use someone to talk to right now.
I’m having some relationship problems, and it’s bringing up so much trauma and negative beliefs about myself… I’m feeling really low and could use some advice on this situation.
I’ve been seeing this man for a few months, he’s married and his wife knows that he’s seeing me because they have an open-marriage-type agreement. But apparently, he hasn’t been completely honest with her about our relationship, and she went through his phone, saw our texts, and got upset. He left out details about what we were doing, she feels betrayed like he cheated, and so now they’re getting divorced.
I feel awful. Like a homewrecker, and kind of used. It’s a horrible feeling. I feel stupid, like I should have known better than to sleep with a married man. I thought his wife was informed and what we were doing was okay, but I had to take his word for it and he wasn’t honest.
He said it’s not my fault, that this was the straw that broke the camel’s back, and divorce was inevitable. But like, I thought they were happy? Why didn’t he tell me that they were in a rough patch? I might have been hesitant to get involved with him if I had known they were in a shaky spot in their marriage! They’ve been married for ten years, and have two kids together. I thought they were stable, happy, and everyone was consenting to this.
Now I just feel so torn up about everything. I really have enjoyed spending time with him, and I want to be there for him because he’s getting divorced and has to move out, all this is happening so fast. But I don’t know how I feel about what he did. He put me in an awful situation that I didn’t ask for, and he kind of lied to me about the state of his relationship. I’ve only seen him 2-3 months, but he’s been nothing but great to me when we’re together.
I’m taking some space to let him and his wife deal with things, and so I can try and process this. I feel like I had the carpet ripped out from under me:( I feel like it’s such a weird situation to be in, I don’t really have anyone to talk to about it. If you could give me your advice, or just chat for a bit, I’d really appreciate it <3