Homophobes and transphobes

i was just banned from 4+ different communities for standing up for myself against one shitty jerk who was harrassing me and my friend because we’re part of the LGBTQ+… i shouldn’t have ever come out… changed my name… my pronouns… none of this would have happened… it’s my fault… i fucked everything up like i always do… i have to ruin everything good for me… that makes me happy…


Hey @TheQuietKelsey,

You are not wrong for being you, for coming out, being true to your identity and letting others know. What is wrong and an injustice there is that someone harrassed you in the first place because of your identity, and that people in charge of the communities you were banned from actually enabled the harrasser’s actions by banning you. This is not your fault. Standing up for yourself was a healthy and right decision. The shame doesn’t belong to you. It should be on the shoulders of those who didn’t support you in this situation. Respect is not optional, including online. You deserve to be respected for who you are and not feeling like you would have to hide.

I’m sorry that this resulted with being banned from places you might have felt comfortable with. Even though you suffer consequences as a result, you haven’t done anything wrong. It’s our world that needs lots of education, and a shape of culture where care, love and respect are the rule, not the exception.

You are so very loved my friend. I’m proud of you for standing up for yourself and for your friend. Your intuition wasn’t wrong. I’m sending hugs your way. Know that you have our full support here. :hrtlegolove:


Hi Kelsey,
thank you for sharing, thank you for reaching out to us.
you are brave, for being yourself. you are strong, for coming out. you are beautiful the way you are.
what is wrong here , is that people don’t accept it. that there are people around, out there, that don’t accept
others to be, like they don’t want.
people confront things they don’t like, they hate, they even don’t understand with anger, harrasement and
hate. that is wrong in this world. there should be understanding, acceptance and respect between humans
all around the world, no matter what.
there should be no homophobia, no violence, no sexism, no racism, no fascism, no hate, no transphobia,
no discrimination, no place for anything bad in this world.
there should be respect, kindness, peace, equality, tolerance, understanding and love. our lifes should be
filled with joy and happiness, not with worries and issues.
you have done your part, you are amazing, you are strong and beautiful. i feel so proud for you, standing up
for yourself and your friend. you matter most and you deserve so much better.
feel hugged and loved :purple_heart:
you are here to be held, not to be missed.

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If you had to hide that important part of yourself in order to fit into those communities, then they didn’t accept you, they accepted a watered down, text block version of you.

It sucks to lose friends that way. I’ve lost friends because I decided to share more of myself and they didn’t like it. It made me feel diminished and unworthy. However, I’m happier being unapologetically me with fewer friends than I was trying to mold myself into someone they liked. I’m lonely, I wish they had accepted and embraced me, but I’m content knowing that I asserted my dignity. When you do that, the right people will come along in time. I have fewer friends than I used to, but the friends I have appreciate me, not a sculpted version of me.

It will feel like forever right now. My pastor once said “When you’re in a valley, all you see is the valley around you.” But now won’t last forever, and when it lifts it will just be a chapter in your past. In the meantime, when you feel lonely, tell us about it here. So many of us can relate :hrtlegolove:

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I’m glad to see you standing up for yourself and your friend. Your identities, pronouns, names, sexualities, gender, etc are valid. Don’t ever think you need to change that for anyone. As Micro put it, those people were in the wrong to treat you both so poorly with that hatred. You both deserve communities that will care and love you for who you two are.

Feel free to join the HeartSupport Discord community if you both are comfortable. We’re all here for you. <3

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You are never responsible for how homophobes and transphobes act. We only get one life to live as our authentic selves and we deserve all the happiness that comes from being our authentic selves. YOU deserve all the happiness.


^ Well said. 100% agree.