Every day is a new struggle. I can barely get out of bed. Everyday brings a new puddle of tears. I cry so often my head feels like it’s caving in. I can’t stand myself, I can hardly stand to live. Everyday brings new thoughts of suicide. I don’t want to give up on everyone but life has brought me so low. All I ever do is help people but who helps me? Even those that try get afraid of how broken I am. I cannot explain how bad it hurts to live. I hate everything I’ve become. I’ve been so severely unhappy for so long. This last month has torn me apart, everything catching up. Everything crashing down. Where do I go from here? Nowhere. I want to cease to exist. I’m so tired. So tired of being tired. So tired of looking for help that will only convince me to try a little while longer until I’m back in this place. So tired of the effort. So ready to not be here anymore. But here I am, seeking help again. Trying to prevent myself from taking my life away. All for who? Everyone else. Typical of me to not do it for me.
I want to say welcome to the Heart Support forums! You are welcome here, your life matters, and your story matters! I want you to know that I am so so glad that you reached out, and I’m so glad that you are alive! I’m so glad that you had the courage to reach out, because I’ll be honest sometimes that’s the hardest step to make!
Your life matters, and you are loved, and you are important! And I’m so glad that you are alive! This world wouldn’t be better without you! You were made in God’s image, and you have a purpose here!
I want you to know that I see you, and you are not alone my friend! It’s hard, it’s hard when you feel like everything is going wrong, and you have nothing work fighting for! But I want to tell you that things will get better, it may take days, weeks, months or even years, but I promise you that this is a season. I’ve had nights where I literally couldn’t stand to be around myself, but I want you to know that your life is worth living.
If you are currently not seeing a counselor/therapist, I really encourage you to seek finding one. I’ve had one in the past and it really helped me! Heart Support is partnered with Better Help, and they offer a one week free trial if you go to https://www.betterhelp.com/heartsupport I want you to know that you are loved, and you matter! I believe in you
Hold Fast, You’re Worth It!
Copy/Paste this into a word processor and print it out and tape it to the wall next to your pillow so you look at it every night and mentally fill it out at the end of each day:
What did I not do well today?
How can I do this differently?
What did I do ok today?
But would do differently tomorrow?
What did I do well today?