Horrible nightmares/terrors why do people target me

Tossing and turning all night long is starting to become too much for me. I legit am not okay any more. In March I was sexually assaulted after years of childhood sexual abuse and other abuse. I also being raped for being trans in college twice. Yesterday was trans visibility day and I keep going over and over in my head the amount of times people seem to target me. Well last night my nightmare and terrors were so bad that at one point I legit must have got full out and hit something. I woke up with a huge bruise too my hand and arm. My hand is in a lot of pain and it is hard to use it. I am not sure what happened. I dont know what I did. I woke up too some things that are on my nightstand all over the floor. I legit am so scared that now I am going to do that again because this is not save for me because I also have health issues and this could be damaging and I could hurt myself so bad. I feel like now how can I help myself from not harming if I am even doing it in my sleep during nightmares. As anyone experienced this during their sleep. Like I legit am so tired that when I wake up I feel more tired like I got no sleep.

Hey @disabledmetalfan,
I have experienced similar things during my sleep before. I have chronic PTSD and sometimes my night terrors seem to take over while I sleep. It’s a weird feeling because you almost don’t feel like yourself- that is how I felt. With that, I attended therapy and am now on medication that helps a lot. Have you considered that? It can be hard so I completely understand if you haven’t or don’t want to.

Please know that we see you and you are so loved and wanted here. You are not alone in this.

Hold Fast,

Hey there,

I am sorry you are experiencing this. That must be so exhausting and stressful. I used to get night terrors from past trauma and I felt the same way. So tired even though I slept but I never really felt like I did because of the night terrors. I personally found the combination of therapy and medication for night terrors to be the most helpful to me. I would encourage you to talk to a counselor to start and see if talking things out helps process what happened and lessens the night terrors. I found that going through it with my counselor really helped me process and as a result, the night terrors began to decrease over time.

Hold Fast,
Hannah Rhodes