From sushi alt: Hotlines, therapists and school counsellors don’t work. Every single one I’ve contacted just asks if I’m safe, where I am in life and what goes on in my head. It’s not helpful. My depression comes from 3 main factors; my family, my friends and me. My parents are verbally abusive to me and it’s gotten to the point where we are not “close”. They don’t even remember how old I am, or what grade I’m in, they always have to ask “How old are you again?” We’re so isolated, I’m not even sure if I can call them family anymore. We’re just strangers who live together and share blood. My friends are all toxic. Either they’ve all manipulated/used/replaced me. And lastly, me. I’m not productive, smart, useful, important or attractive. But I can confidently say I’m a really good person. I’m always there for my friends when they’re in need of help or need someone to vent to, I take time out of my schedule to make food (who doesn’t love a good swiss roll or crepe?) for people who feel down or are going through something, I help my friends study, I listen to their vents with patience and care, yet, in the end, I still get treated like
I’m so easily forgotten and so easily replaceable. Nobody would notice if one grain of sand went missing. There’s truly nobody (irl) there for me. My bsf (M17) of only 1 year has forgotten me. 49% toxic, 51% good person, but got a girlfriend a month ago and we have literally never spoken ever since. And no, I will not make an attempt to talk to him again. I have, and I’ve been left on opened/delivered. I’ve been hurt too much to try again.
I don’t vent to people irl. This is me being selfish. I don’t know you all, and you don’t know me. This is my chance to get advice and encouragement from people who can’t judge me on many things. This is my limit. I’d kill myself, but I’m too scared. I don’t wanna live anymore but I don’t want to take initiative to make that happen. I wish I could stay in my room for the rest of my life… Please, what do I do?
From no cocout now Nutella: Try getting a pet or starting a new hobby
Also something that helped me a lot was to take a shower when ever I feel like doing smth serious
From no cocout now Nutella: You are not being selfish you’re being brave
You actually got the guts to ask for help
In a help center
It’s a hard thing to do and you did it
Be proud
From Manni XP: Hi, Maise.
First, I want to thank you for sharing here. It sounds like you’re dealing with some really heavy stuff. Please know that you are always, always welcome to talk here about this sort of thing.
From Danie Winchester: Hi there, I grew up in a verbally abusive family and know what it’s like. I also tend to only attract toxic people for some reason. And recently I realised it was related to said toxic family. The good news tho, is that you won’t be stuck in that family forever. Someday soon, you’re going to be able to find a full time job or even go to university and move out. When you do, you won’t have to deal with your family. And I promise real friends will show up eventually, some that will make you feel like supported and loved, like a real family. Remember that not all that is blood related is family…Personally, those people are all around the world and a few are IRL people.
I once was in your shoes and kinda still him. The way I coped with those feelings was by venting to my online friends almost everyday. Which, I still do. So, don’t be afraid to use this space for that. The second thing I’d use was and still is music! I always have headphones around ready to be used. I made special playlist based on my moods. The third thing I used were books, movies and TV shows…God, when you need to travel but can’t physically, the best escape was through those. The fourth thing would be walking in nature by myself. Whenever I do that, I feel so safe and at peace. I have my favourites spots where I escape to when I’m too overwhelmed and that none of the previous work. I just get out there cry as much and loud as I need to, sometimes I even vent sending audio messages to my online friends. And last but not least, if you can afford it. Depending on your age and the laws in your country, I’d say seeing a doctor about that…that kind of environment tend to put you through a lot of stress, anxiety, and depression. And those can be helped through medication, especially when you feel like you can’t go on anymore.
