Ever since I was young, I could never find something good about myself. I’m not a straight A student, I’m not into sports, im not pretty…my hair to toe is disgusting, horrific, my skin, my voice…Everything…I just HATE it! I hate it so much! I just keep getting fatter and uglier no wonder why people get away from me, no wonder why my own parents wished that I was never born. I can’t even cry because then people think that im weak, I can’t even get angry because then I’m aggressive . Each day is becoming harder to be here…people always leave me regardless, it doesn’t matter what I do, so now I decided to push people away, it hurts less. I wonder how does it feel to be loved and protected even though I know that I may never experience that…I feel so empty…lifeless…So sad, I can’t trust nobody around me and I don’t like to be surrounded by people anymore…I wish that I couldn’t leave my room anymore. I’m just tired, maybe I should end it but I don’t even have the guts for it…I’m so pathetic! Then I just sit and stare at the mirror full of disgust but it suits right for someone like me
First thing welcome here 
It seem that you have a hard life, but you are still here so that means that you are a warrior and that show how great as a person you are.
Maybe you havent found what are you good that, but I think that almost all the people are trying to look for what they are good at, so dont worry about that, if you keep searching you will found it.
And people will come and go to your life but the ones that really are the ones for you, they will stay and will show you that they care about you.
So please dont give up in yourself,life can be hard but life also have so many good moment that are waiting for you.
If you want to talk, heart support is here, we are here, we care about you and you are loved.
Take care 
Hey @Mademoisellenoir,
Thank you for sharing and being here.
There is absolutely nothing in what you said that could be seen as being pathetic. After reading your post, I only had a huge feeling of compassion for you. Because I hear that you’re hurting, struggling, with painful thoughts and feelings about yourself and your life. So again, I am glad you came here and shared this. It’s important to let this out of your chest when you need it.
I’m sorry that people you care about got away from you. And I’m sorry if someone ever told you or made you think that your not enough this or too that. It hurts when this happens, especially because it can make us question everything about ourselves. And see ourselves in a very negative way.
It’s okay if you’re not a “straight A student”, it’s okay if you’re not into sports, and it doesn’t matter how you look like. Who you are goes beyond that. Results at school won’t drive your entire life. If you don’t like sports they it’s okay! And how you look like doesn’t define you, even if there’s a lot of pressure on physical appearances in our society. I’ve been through some health difficulties recently. And as I need to receive regular treatments at hospital, it has affected how I look. You could tell that I’m sick just by seeing me right now. But it doesn’t really matter. Because no one can know me just by looking at me. My body is not who I am and doesn’t condition my worth. Your body doesn’t condition yours either. And you are worthy of love regardless of how you look like.
I’m really sorry you’re feeling so much hate for yourself. I spent most of my life feeling the same and I realized only recently that it wasn’t about me, but what was done and said to me. You have the right to exist, friend. And you are beautiful just as you are. People will not always leave you. And those who did that before missed the opportunity to share their life with a unique person: you. There’s not one like you in this world. You have your own feelings, passions, desires, interests, skills, story. Those things that no one else have but you.
I like sharing videos from the HS Youtube channel here. And I hope the one that follows will warm your heart as it did for mine:
You matter. You are not worthless. You have a unique place in this world. Please don’t forget that.