Back to heartsupport

How can I turn off my need for love?

So I realize I have “daddy issues” as my dad died when I was young which makes me feel like I want/need companionship. I get that. However I am the wrong size, wrong color and ugly and I have the urge to really be with someone who cares for me. I don’t know how to stop that, and deal with being alone for the rest of my life. I’m an older person (over 30) so I know that not everybody gets a happy ever after. And I was already in a very bad relationship before. I just want the need to stop. How can I do that?

Snekcat,

I think it is important to know that you are not alone how you feel. There are so many people out there with broken hearts that either have not found love, thought they found it but it wasn’t the right love, or have been hurt to the bone by love. For a long time I suffered from the wanting and longing to find a girl, get a in a serious relationship, and get married. I want a girl to marry, and I want a family one day, and a lot of people I grew up with or know that are my age (I’m 24) have already reached that point. I felt like I was lagging behind and that for some reason I was not good enough for love.

However, sometimes we look for love in the wrong places. We look for love in fabricated relationships, thinking things will work out in our favor but they end up going in a way you did not want them to. What we over look the most is that there is love all around us if we look for it. I’m sure that you have friends that you share a special bond/relationship with, and that right there is a strong form of love and companionship because they love you and know you for who you are. A hard pill for me to swallow as I struggle similarly with this is that the more I tried to search for love and put myself down for not finding it, I was missing out on what was already in my life that I truly loved and that made me happy.

It is perfectly natural to feel alone at times, especially when we want someone to comfort us but have no one by our side. But don’t put yourself down for not finding love yet because one day, when you find the right love, it is going to be so much more special. I am a Christian and a man of faith, so my perspective on love is that I believe in not just a physical love, but also the supernatural love of Jesus. Through Him I have a comforter and a lover that takes me as I am and shows me what love really is not just through him, but through the people around me. That is what helps me know that I am loved and that I have the ability to share that some love with those around me, and that is a truly beautiful thing. So in all, just know that you are loved as you are, and what you seek is within you already!