How can one bear the unbareable?

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Hello friends, it’s been some time since I’ve posted here, and participated in the community, I hope you’re all doing well.

For all wondering about updates for my last post, it might be a topic for another day.

Summer break is over now, and today was the first day of school, and i can’t say it gave me a first good impression. I met all of my classmates with a cold, indifferent “hello” even though I think they were excited to see me, and i made no effort in correcting that and connecting with them during recess. For reference, last school year was full of burnout, and now, when i step into it, I wholly remember why that is. It feels like this 3 month break has done nothing in easing it in any way. The classes are even longer now(1 hour 20 minute each), and seem even more uninteresting and engaging. To make things worse, we didn’t have the fun introduction and getting ready week like previous years, we were kind of just thrown into it, which makes me feel like the joyful, youthful part of school is gone(which it has).
Many people left this year(of which I held dear very much) and my class has now split with all the ones i adore being in the other class(they kind of made last year bearable). Now I know if I don’t make an honest effort to connect with them outside class that we will eventually also split apart friendship wise. But I feel tied to this boy group, wondering where I go, and some following me all the time, and some of this also feels very alien. I’ve always connected with my classmates over text, especially in the summer, and now I am unsure how to transfer that to real life, where some things might be different.

Which leads me to my question, how does one bear the unbearable? How can I wake up everyday at 6, put on my clothes, eat, and go to 8 hours to a school in which I do not care for learning anymore, only to stress out over grades. How can I continue to sit through these 1 hour 20 minute classes without the ever lasting desire to stop suffering and go home?

This is another year where I will repeat the same patterns of burn out(that have been worsened by the last year, I’m starting this one ALREADY burnt out) I don’t want to spend this entire year wasting away my valuable time on something that eats me up every single second.

So I ask the question once more: How can one bear the unbearable?

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From: Lisalovesfeathers

Hi Friend, Thank you for your post, starting back at school after a long summer holiday is hard enough each year, starting back as you go up each year is harder still, all the nice welcomes and lets take time to get used to being back tends to fade away as you get older and nearer to the end of your school life (I dont know how old you are of course) Its a bit of a culture shock of course but it is also a good thing as it is preparing you for life after all of this. How do you bear the unbearable, well I guess you have to work out if the situation really is as unbearable as it first appears, words are powerful and can have a strong affect on your actions, there are some incredibly unbearable situations that can happen and if being at school is one then maybe it might be an idea to see a school councellor to help get you through this and talk to your parents, get as much help and support as you can. If however you have become overwhelmed and you find things calm down and this does become part of your new normal which hopefully it will you will meet new people, make new friends and have a good year at school. I wish you lots of luck. Much Love Lisalovesfeathers. x

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Hello there,

It’s good to see a post from you. Hope you are doing well. One thing that you might want to consider is to think of this new opportunity to make new connections and new friends. Yes, you won’t be with the ideal group in your mind…but you have the chance to meet new people that you might not have before.

Also, as a teacher…think of this year as an opportunity to get ready for the next part of your education. It might be you entering college or finding a job that you are passionate about or taking a break for a year to discover what you want to do next. I told one of my students this past week that they need to ignore when others try to start trouble or get into his business and that he needs to walk away and not engage with them. He has big dreams and he has to be ready to ignore them when things get spicy in his adulthood.

For you, it might be a good idea to plan a get-together or even a lunch with your friends, so you have something to look forward to at the middle or the end of your day. Go say hi during the breaks between classes for a quick catch-up. Then, you have moments of connection with your best mates and that will help the day pass along quicker.

I hope you have a great school year. You got this.

-StarFox :yellow_heart:

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From: ᏒᎧᏕᎥᏋ

Hi Friend, I know you miss your friends because they are in other classes, but some people in your class that you don’t know yet could turn out to be new friends. It’s ok to strike up a conversation or interact with them. As time goes by you will meet new people and some of your older friends will fade, it’s just how the universe works. There will be lots of people in your life, give them a chance to show you who they are. ~Mystrose

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From: Rohini_868

hi Ephnel,

the funny thing about school is how isolated we can feel, how alone, but if we ask others in our class, most persons will be feeling the same fears, and worries and stresses as we do about schoolwork, making new friends, having enough time for fun stuff.
You made me remember my days, the 1.5 hours long classes we dreaded, but hten had fun in when we got to do some new fun stuff, and I got to make some new acquaintances in my new subjects.

What do you wan to do after school? Is there a job or profession or activity you’re interested in?It may help if you could see school as a vehicle for where you want to be later in life. What are yourinterests ? You’re not alone, friend. You matter , and I hope that you can start having some fun moments soon!

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From: Mamadien

Ephnel, hello! I’m sorry to hear that you are struggling with the new school year. A new year, a new schedule and new classmates can all be stressors until you get settled into the new schedule. It sounds like you were anticipating it being difficult before you even got there this year. So how can you lessen the burn out? Avoiding school doesn’t seem like an option. It seems that keeping in touch with your current friends would be helpful for you. But what about getting to know some of your current classmates? There may be others who are feeling similarly to how you feel. Making and having friends will hopefully help the long classes and the year go back more enjoyably. It can be intimidating to reach out now and make those new connections, but it’s something that can make this year easier and it’s a very useful skill for the future as well. I wish you well this school year.

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From: twixremix

hi ephnel,

it’s always tough to say goodbye to summer and start a new semester, especially when that semester is the first one where there isn’t a smooth easing week with fun intro activities. to look around and realize that you and your colleagues are growing up is also a tough realization. however, fun and youthfulness will never die out unless you allow it. sure, the curriculum will change each year but there will always be passionate teachers that seek out cool ways to teach you information and a variety of extracurriculars you can join. those extracurricular activities can also open the door for new friendships to form, especially as you work towards transitioning your text-based conversations from the summer into irl ones.

the fact here is that school is unbearable. so is college. so is work. HOWEVER, it’s up to each of us to find our own ways to get through each day. friends in your classes or even ones to meet up with after school to decompress fills that social aspect. hobbies and school clubs/sports fulfill your need for fun, excitement, and something to look forward to. and finally, being easy on yourself if you need time to just lay there doing nothing is imperative in avoiding burnout.

you can do this, ephnel. you’re not alone in these feelings and i’m sure your peers will also find comfort in knowing they aren’t alone. i wish you the best of luck in this new school year.

love,
twix

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Hey Ephnel,

What you are going through right now is, in my experience, very normal, but for some reason, taboo to voice. Feeling burned out, drained, anxious… what ever word you want to use… as you face a new situation, year in school, etc. We can’t always be passionate about what life requires us to do, but we need to do it anyways. It’s fine that you don’t face it with a smile on your face. But you do need to keep facing it, and working through it.

So what to do about it? What are you passionate about? What does put that smile on your face? What does make you want to get up and go do ? Balancing what you love doing with those tasks that need to be done could be the key in this situation. Find and focus on your passions, that which recharges you, to balance out what drains you.

You got this, friend.

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Hello, thank you all for replying, it means all the world to me! :heart:

It seems like a lot of you recommend interacting with my new classmates and making friends, I want to try this but have no idea how to spark a conversation when everybody is already in groups, plus some clingy people who keep following me.

In terms of out school activities, due to having strict parents, I don’t see that as an option, and the rest I could do is stuff at home(imagine a never ending COVID pandemic), and while im interested in some things, they never stick out nor come to mind as a passion. You could see how burnout can easily affect me at this rate.

Unfortunately we do not have a school counselor, and mental health is a pretty taboo thing here, I really don’t think they’d slow down or change things up just for me(let alone understand it). It’s also just hard to open up in general since my mental health issues arent just about school, and some specific teachers might just end up giving useless advice and moving on, and I don’t want anyone to alert my parents since of my mental health(its complicated)

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Focus on the next minutes. Be fully aware of what’s happening. Looking at 100 minutes of class time really is discouraging. Focusing on what’s happening in the moment, helps you get the most benefit from it. An hour and twenty minutes is a long slog. It makes no sense that all the research proves that concentration fades after twenty or so minutes, so they really should give a 5 minute break every 20 minutes. Good instructors create such breaks, even if the students aren’t allowed to take a “get up and walk around” break. That’s why some instructors will stop lecturing and crack a joke or two, every once in a while.

If your mind is occupied with thoughts of “I wanna get out of here,” time will creep, and the material presented by the instructor will sound a bit like Charlie Brown’s teacher, “wa, wa, wuu, waa, wa…”

Becoming mindful of the present is a habit that needs cultivating, but it gets easier as time goes on. The same long-ass class sessions will become much more bearable. Time will pass much more quickly, if your focus isn’t locked on to the clock.

You might have heard of the question, how do you eat an elephant?" The answer is “one bite at a time.” How do you get through a shitty class? A moment at a time. Even now, when I look at a big project, I often feel exhausted. Then I ask myself, “will my first step be exhausting?” “How about the next one?” Usually once I’m a few steps into the process, that “cloud of overwhelming” starts to lift.

Keep in mind, this advice is coming from an ADHD poster child.

Is the desire to go home stronger than your desire to succeed with your education? The unbearable is a bit more bearable when reminding yourself that your current situation won’t last forever.

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