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How do I ask for help when I've been let down so much?


#1

I have intense depression and severe anxiety. I’ve hurt myself before and have engaged in less than desirable behavior. I’ve gone to my parents several times over the years, and each time is just the same. They promised help, but it never comes. I’ve opened myself up to them so many times only to be forgotten. I feel like I’m losing control and need to talk to them, but I don’t know if I can take the pain of being brushed off again. I’ve tried everything thing I can think of to connect with them, but nothing works. I don’t know what more I can do.


#2

Hi friend. I resonate with this so so much and I’m so sorry you’re going through this. You’ve already asked for help by posting here… That’s massive and you should be proud. It sucks that your parents keep pushing your needs to the back burner but don’t give up on them. Arrange a set time with them to go and find the help you need, if they keep offering it, it sounds like they want to help but may not know how to. Even write it in a letter if that’s how you want to do it… I can’t reach out to my parents for help and I have had nothing but abuse from those I did reach out too, right up until I joined this community. Thanks to this community I had the support I needed to go and be honest with my GP and get the referral I’ve needed for nearly 13 years. I’ve finally stepped up and found help for my addiction. It takes time, but you can start to trust again. After nearly 13 years of trusting NO ONE, I have a support group of around 6 people I trust enough to talk too when I’m struggling, 2 people I can trust with ANYTHING and I mean I trust these guys with my life, and a whole community of people who have my back I’m everything.
This WILL happen for you too, come join the discord/streams if you haven’t already. That’s a brilliant place to start working on this.

Hold Fast
Kayla


#3

Thank you, it’s actually pretty comforting to know I’m not the only one who goes through this things. I think at the very least I’m going to continue to be involved in this community, it seems like a pretty good one.


#4

Man, sucks to feel like the people you wish and hope and expect to support you don’t or won’t…it hurts to feel like this vulnerable piece of you is something they’re pretending doesn’t exist even when you tell them, “YES IT DOES”. It’s almost like you’re Horton trying to convince the other animals that the Who’s are real. THEY’RE REALLY REAL I PROMISE!! And it’s so frustrating to have your heart squashed over and over. So invalidating…so isolating…I’m really sorry that you’re in this place man.

What kind of help are you hoping they’ll help you get?

If you’re looking for your parents to understand you, to hear you, to affirm you, and to support you – it is worth the risk of trying to tell them again. Perhaps disconnect your heart from their response and understand that they’re afraid to hear that you’re struggling. And maybe it’s not this time, but maybe if you tell them this time, the next time they’ll understand, or the time after that, or the time after that. Point is, if you’re looking for them to understand you, and that’s the true goal here, the only way to do that is to keep trying.

If you’re looking for them to pay for counseling, you can actually sign up for 7 days of free counseling through HeartSupport. Go to betterhelp.com/heartsupport and sign yourself up right now! You have to sign up with a credit card, but if you cancel immediately you get to keep the 7 days free still.

If you’re looking for some other kind of support, post back here, and we’ll see how we can help you!


#5

If your parents aren’t listening or have expectations for you that they rather you achieve. I suggest finding someone else to confine in.