How do I be honest with my needs/wants and communicating them with others?

I struggle daily with being open and honest about my needs and wants. I don’t know how to communicate how I feel without feeling extreme anxiety. Even simple conversations can cause feelings of panic and anxiety. I want to be able to communicate my thoughts and feelings but I’m always afraid of negative responses and reactions from simply saying no to someone. Been dealing with a lot of depression and anxiety the last couple months and it is scaring me knowing that I’m losing control of it all.

I try to help people and I tend to put myself in situations that I’m not comfortable with. Any advice on how to deal with the anxiety of having tough conversions is welcome. Thank you for taking the time to read this.


Hey mastermanic!

Thank you for posting. Anxiety around tough conversations is definitely rough. I still get that too every so often. It’s normal to feel anxious when having a tough conversation.

Before the conversation, take some time to prepare. Think about what you want to say and how you want to say it. This will help you feel more confident and in control. Choose a good time and place for the conversation, and make sure you’re both free from distractions.

In that conversation, try and ease into stating the problem clearly and yet objectively. Use “I” statements to express your feelings and needs. For example, instead of saying “You always make me feel bad,” say “I feel hurt when you say that.” Listen carefully to the other person’s perspective and try to understand their point of view. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, take a break if needed. Finally, don’t be afraid to compromise. It’s unlikely that you’ll get everything you want in a difficult conversation, so be willing to meet the other person halfway.


Thank you. I appreciate you taking the time to read and respond to this post. It’s been difficult to express myself authentically. I will do my best to use those tools in the future. Much Love :metal:


Hello there, @mastermanic :green_heart:

Before I get onto the crux of my reply, I’d like to say welcome to the community! I hope you find some good comfort here. I also must apologise for only replying to this post now.

Firstly, you aren’t alone in this. There are ways and man’s of getting the right support and help and there are steps you can take to work through the struggles and painful emotions.

Being kind to yourself is important. It’s important to remember that it isn’t a bad thing to have these needs and wants, and you should put yourself first. Communicating your needs and wants can be tricky. However you can start small and gradually work your way up. Begin by jotting down on paper what it is you want to say and practicing with somebody else who can give you feedback. It’s worth saying that it’s okay to say no if something makes you uncomfortable or doesn’t align with what you believe in.

Seeking support from a mental health professional - such as a counsellor or therapist would be beneficial. They could address any anxieties you have. They would also provide you with coping mechanisms and a safe place to explore and discuss your feelings.

You’ve taken a big and important step by reaching out, and I’m hopeful that with time and good support, you can grab back control and find ease in communicating your thoughts and feelings.

Keep up the good work!