I tried to take my life two days ago, I thought about it every minute of everyday and didn’t really understand why I was, but it’s all I could think about. I found my mom’s pills and started taking them, slowly more and more, but then was able to get a bottle of alcohol, so I downed the rest and drank the bottle. I was so out of it, but no one noticed. I stayed in my room and felt like I was leaving, but still somehow woke up the next day 16 hours later. I had to go to the doctor for other reasons and he said I was acting weird, so I told him what I did. He wanted to admit me to a psychiatric facility, but I’d been there before and it made it worse. So, I begged for any other option, I had to call my mom in front of him and tell her to lock all the medications away and that I had to go to therapy and be put on mood stabilizers, but if I don’t follow through I will get admitted. It’s only been like 2 days, but it’s all I can think about. I still even go to bed just knowing my dads diabetic and want to shoot his insulin into me so I go into a coma and sleep forever. I feel so useless and like for my age I’m a failure and will never make anything of myself, just a burden.
Hey, I know it’s hard right now and you feel hopeless, but please don’t feel that way. Like you said you have to follow through. Where there is a will there is a way. I believe in you. I’ve been down that road. It’s a dark and scary place. But I know you can overcome this.
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