How do i get over jealousy…
My day gets ruined because of it, I HATE feeling jealous i really do it ruins my mood and everyone around me.
I need some tips to help me
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Hi Danar,
I can’t say I’m a master at getting past jealousy, and I’d be amazed if anyone was. Personally, I find that talking about it really helps. Going to the source and openly communicating with why you’re jealous helps solve the problem most of the time. Is this a relationship-based jealousy?
Regardless, doing something I love to take my mind off of jealousy never fails to help.
Here for you,
Krymmenos
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Hey Danar
Good to meet you, that is indeed a difficult and I would say probably common problem for a lot of people. It can be hard to look around and see others that look happier, have more or seem more contented with life, some even look perfect but one thing to remember is that No one is and behind a lot of the fascade of how wonderful or brave or wealthy a person is, they all have their troubles, their insecruities and emotional baggage and that is nothing to be jealous of. There is good and bad in every situation, it might be an idea to remind youself of what the negatives are of the things you are jealous of. Things are not always as they seem.
Best of luck.
Lisa x
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Hi @Danar
Welcome back! 
Your post reminded me of this video I watched a long time ago. It gives some tips and does a good job at explaining things. I hope it helps! You matter!
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From: The Blind Ash
Hello friend I am sorry you are struggling with jealousy that is a tough one to deal with. Let me ask this what ways do you become jealous. For me when I see someone with something I would really love to have in my life I stop and think wait they may have that but I have this. For example when I see a dog that someone owns that I would love to have I remind myself that hey I have my own very well trained Great Pyreness who loves me beyond measure. She is talented in so many ways and knows me more than most people do. She is my best friend. Point being that when I become any form of jealous I start to think of things that are special to me. I dont know if that is something that would help. If it is something along the lines of the way someone else is treated that is a little harder but I stop and list people who I feel are people that love me. For example my family was super tough throughout my entire life but I have created my own family. I hand picked them and chose who gets to be apart of my own life. That to me is more special and means others truly care. I know some of this may not be entirely what you are struggling with as jealousy is a super tough thing to deal with and I am very much not the best with it. I know that sometimes it takes a lot of work and effort on us to actively remind ourselves that hey they have this thing but that is okay that I dont. I hope some of what I said can help. Good luck and I am here to help how I can.
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Hi friend,
Maybe a worksheet like https://www.morethantwo.com/practicaljealousy.pdf can help you get through these troubling times of jealousy? If it doesn’t, and you’d like me to continue finding some resources, do let me know. Keep us updated!
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One of the first things I started doing as a kid was to freely admit to being jealous and joke about it. It didn’t always work, as some disparities are no joking matter, such as one person having food and another hungry, and so on. When peers would get things handed to them, like new cars, I was irritated and felt it wasn’t right that I also didn’t receive such blessings. Then I got around to saying things like, “I’m jealous! I want one too!” In other words, I was honest and upbeat about my very human emotion. When I did that, others found it easy to accept and laugh about.
I had a whole friggin’ book full of things to be jealous of, including physical health and looks, a secure and stable home life, the popularity of others, the nice clothes I saw others wearing, and the list goes on.
The whole issue of jealousy kinda faded away when I wasn’t looking. My outlook changed over time. I decided that even if I couldn’t have “stuff,” I wouldn’t want others to be similarly deprived. If I couldn’t be healthy, I didn’t want others to be sick. If I couldn’t be popular, I’d still want others to enjoy popularity anyway. You get the idea.
Sometime later, I got around to taking pleasure in seeing others have and receive whatever advantages and blessings that came into their lives. Maybe lacking a sense of family (among relatives) helped me to see general humanity as an extended family. If you saw a child or sibling receive a gift, and it made them really happy, wouldn’t you enjoy seeing that and even feel good about it? That kind of reaction has become the default for me, even when someone else wins the lottery. I can actually feel a bit of joy for them.
We need to hear more about the function of empathy as it applies to good things occurring in the lives of others.
I’m still human. I still get a twinge of jealousy, but when it happens, it triggers more positive thoughts.
A twinge of jealousy… passing some gas… Oh well. It’s okay. Our imperfect humanity is endearing.