I identify as LGBTQ and I am Catholic. Balancing the two has been a struggle. Prior to graduating university I was able to be involved in campus ministry and did spiritual direction with one of the campus ministers who helped me grow in my faith and reminded me that Christ still cares about me and will never stop caring about me. I felt safe and it let be know that it was okay to be myself especially since there were other LGBTQ students. Now that I have graduated finding LGBTQ resources is no issue but even finding a faith group Catholic or non-Catholic has been an issue. I keep looking and I keep getting bombarded with I am a sinner, I am going to hell etc… I didn’t choose to be this way maybe God made me this way but why is it I am forced to choose between my faith and my orientation? Both communities have been helpful and have been there for me and I am trying to navigate being both Catholic and LGBTQ and yet I am constantly told no you can’t follow Christ because I am LGBTQ. If that were true then why was campus ministry so welcoming and inviting? Why did the one campus minister sit with me as I journey through this and help me with my faith and why is it that for every one person or group that is accepting there are a others that remind me I am not accepted? I wish I knew how to handle this on my own and I wish the experiences I had could continue instead of going to Mass and wondering if I am being judged.
Take this with a grain of salt, but maybe the best option is to not subscribe to either group. Don’t get me wrong, it feels nice to be a part of something and being surrounded by people like you makes life feel less lonely, but sometimes group mentality can be really toxic, Specially when it comes to the more religious / political stuff.
The unfortunate reality is that every group judges people in their own way. Try not to dwell on it too much, but if it gets bad, there’s no use in being around people who don’t accept you. Don’t just be another member of a group, be you.
I appreciate where you are coming from and get what you are saying I think what I am trying to figure out is how to be me when I have society and others telling my I don’t belong.