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How do I say goodbye?


#1

I feel like I’m on here so much asking for your help at the moment, I’m sorry.
As some of you know, one my dogs is very unwell, he has an illness which means that larynx are part paralysed, making it difficult to breathe and can literally cause him to choke to death. With this illness, there is also a chance of sudden death syndrome, which is literally what the name says… His heart could literally stop tomorrow and we wouldn’t have any signs to say it’s going to happen.
He has Arthiritis in his back legs, which causes some pain and stops him from properly being able to get about - I.e. We have to lift him in and out of the house or onto furnitrue… He’s on a few medications to help manage this, which, we are OK with as it’s no different to how my mother lives with her Arthiritis…
The final thing is that he may possibly have a lung and heart conditon. He was supposed to have gone in to have an x-ray, however they couldn’t do it because his heart was beating way too fast and it would have killed him. We don’t know if it was down to stress of being alone at the Vet, a medication he’s on or something more serious. We’re waiting to hear back, but, what happens if it is a heart condition?
Showing emotion is something that isn’t really encouraged within my family, and we’re getting to a point now where we are considering the best option for him, whether it be to put him down, or to keep going… This dog in particular has seen me through so much, including my suicide attempts in the past, and my heart is breaking SO MUCH over the whole thing… How do I say goodbye to him? How do I deal with the grief and emotion in a healthy way when I’m going to have to be the one that stays strong? We have 3 other dogs, if everyone falls apart, they’re not going to get the care they need. I’m an addict, and in order to stay clean through this, I have to have a plan in place for when it happens, and I have no idea what to put in place where. It’s the first time I’ve ever lost a pet, and this was the one thing I told my sponsor would lead to a relapse if anything.
How do I avoid relapsing after he passes?? I don’t know how to say goodbye to him, I don’t know how to prepare for what’s to come. I just wish he was okay and that he could have a few more years. Please don’t tell me that it’s part of life and I have to just accept it. I know I have to accept it’s happening, but my dogs are my world. If it weren’t for them, I would have been dead long before I found HeartSupport.

Kayla


#2

Hi friend,
I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. Not knowing what could happen to someone you’re so close to and care so much about is really scary and it is really hard to process those feelings.
Don’t feel like you’re on here too much. We love you so much and care about you, we’re glad you feel so open to share how you’re feeling with us.
All of these health problems that are going on with your dog are awful and I’m sorry you are having to deal with them. I know I can’t say much to help the situation or make you feel a lot better, but please know that this situation will work out. No matter how sick your dog is, spend as much time as you can with him!
I would encourage you to not think negatively (easier said than done, I know), but please try to think positively and how much he has impacted your life! Don’t spend this time thinking about the health complications and possibilities. Try just being in the moment with him and focusing on being there for him right now.
If it’s a heart condition, it’s a heart condition. You will work through this, and everything will be okay. I know it seems like there’s no hope and it’s only possible to think negatively, but please try to see that this will be taken care of. Let the vet/doctors see what they can do to help him, they are on your side, we are on your side. They will do everything in their power to help your dog, no matter what it takes.
It can be hard to say goodbye, especially when you have such a close relationship with your dog. I know you care deeply about him and just want him to be okay. You know what? He is going to be okay. If he has to be put down, he’ll be okay. He won’t be in pain, he won’t have to deal with these problems. If you guys decide to keep going with him, you’ll fight! The fight won’t stop.
Dealing with emotion and grief in a healthy way is very hard. All I can recommend is talking to people and writing down how you feel. You know we’re here for you. You know you can message me on Discord and talk about it. I will gladly listen to you at any time that you need to be heard. I promise that we will be here for you when you need it. We understand that your dog is very special to you and losing him scares you. I promise that we will not push your situation to the side. I promise that we will help you get through this, no matter how long it takes.
Maybe you could put your emotions and energy into helping your other dogs and building better relationships with them? It could be a way to distract yourself and give you a new goal, to get closer to your other dogs?
I know other people, including Dan and Casey would have some great advice on how to make a plan to get through this situation. And also, I would recommend you talk to your sponsor often in this situation! They will be more than happy to help you and guide you through this difficult situation.
I don’t think anyone can properly prepare for what’s to come. We don’t know what will happen and how this situation will end, friend. That’s why you just need to enjoy the time you have with him and do whatever you can to help him. That’s all you can do. You are so strong and you’re doing such a great job. I’m soooo proud of you for staying strong through this. I know you will get through this and you have the power to handle this situation.
I love you so freaking much. I believe in you. I never will stop believing in you.


#3

@Kayla

Tell your dog you love him. It is the best thing to do. I’m sorry you are going through this.