My friend is calling me constantly; about three times a day and it’s hard enough concentrating. I’m in online school because of the coronavirus and my grades are slipping. I’ve told him a few times to stop calling me so much and he said okay, but then the next day, boom. Blows up my phone with calls. The other day he called me seven consecutive times claiming it was an emergency, so I freaked out and called him. But it turned out he was “just kidding”. How do I stop this without being an asshole?
If you are able to set up healthy boundaries with this person. It is okay to set up boundaries with them because before you are able to help or be there for someone else you must first be able to check in and be there for yourself. Remind him that you have to do your coursework and that there are times that you cannot take his call because you are doing your studies. There is nothing selfish about being there for yourself because you don’t want it to be that you can’t be there for others if your own well being is suffering. Maybe suggest that if you can’t talk right now that you will call him back later or call him on a day you don’t have to do your coursework. I would also suggest talking to him about the fake emergency because that was not appropriate and could have caused unnecessary drama. There are various resources about healthy boundaries and how to implement them.
Hey, it’s okay to set boundaries and to request space so you can focus and do what you need to do. It doesn’t make you an asshole at all.
Like @mufcninja said, absolutely nothing selfish about that.
Let him know your grades are slipping and you really need to focus right now. Maybe express that you are going to take a mini hiatus from major phone use till you can get back on track and you’d appreciate it if he didn’t call for a while. Something along that line. Totally understandable and reasonable.
I hope he respects those boundaries.