Hallos! This is kind of an update how I’ve been since I last posted. Its been a very mixed couple of weeks. Started off just down for a couple of days, never really knew why I was down but I was. I Started to go downhill a couple of days ago when I self-harmed and had to go to the hospital
as I screwed my arm a bit too much. I was in the hospital and said to may parents I whacked my arm in the side of the desk which I didn’t. A scary thing happened when I was go karting I had a weird intrusive thought of just crashing into a barrier at like 70mph (112 kph)
but luckily I pulled through and finished the race P3 out of 50 odd people. Definatly shouldn’t have finished it to be sensible. Honnestly today have been a positive day been somewhat productive. Ran around 8 miles today around the coast with a nice sunrise : D
Getting alot better now better sleep and ate stuff for the first time in like 48hrs so starting to pull though! Thank you all <3
Goodness these are such big improvements, @Aces. I’m so glad to hear that you are now giving your body the fuel it needs, that you manage to sleep well and on top of that to enjoy some outdoor workout. You are fulfilling some very fundamental needs there - eating, sleeping, moving. All things that are always going to be very beneficial for your mind and heart. Well done!
Congratulations also for the result of your race. I’m grateful for your presence and the fact that you kept these thoughts away. They may arise at times, surprisingly or not, but you are always in control.
Hope for your arm to recover well too. Take care, friend. You’re on the right path. 
Hey @Aces,
Good to read from you! That really does sound like a roller coaster what you’ve been through during the last couple of weeks. I’m sorry to hear about your arm and hope it’s recovering well. Are you aware of what triggered the self-harm behavior? You wrote that it went downhill before. Was there something that happened in particular? Of course, you don’t have to share. For me personally, it helps when I can identify what caused the worsening of my mental state, because then I don’t have the impression that things are totally unpredictable.
I’m glad you’re taking care of your sleeping and eating habits and hope you’re keeping it up. So cool you’re having a coast nearby where you can go running! You’re so worth the self-care and you matter. Sending you much love.
Hello Aces,
I am so proud of you for posting here on HeartSupport. I want to take this time to post here so you can look back on all of the things that inspired you in these moments. Remember what it felt like to chase the sunshine. Remember how proud of yourself you were when you pulled through & finished the race. Remember the positive days & how you felt. You have so much to offer this world. Thank you for being here.
You are valid. You are enough. You are important. You are strong. You matter. 
From: ᏒᎧᏕᎥᏋ
Hi Aces, I know you aren’t having a good day today, but I just wanted you to look back at this post and try to remember how good you felt. You placed 3rd in your race, which is awesome, congratz! You said no to self harm during the race and you ran 8 miles! No wonder you felt so good. I hope you can find your peace again by reading your post here. Take care you are loved! ~Mystrose
Hi Aces,
I’d like to start by stating how proud I am of you for staying safe in the race. It’s also great to see that you are taking care of your physical needs for sleep and food – please make sure to remember to continue doing this.
You are an awesome person and only deserve the best. I’m sorry that you’ve been going through rough times lately but hope that the skies are more clear looking into the future.
-Tuna
From: Taladien
Hey Aces,
Dang, 3rd out of 50? I think the only things I’ve come close to that is in Mario Kart. Bravo!
It was good to see that you had some better moments a few days ago. I know you’ve been hurting since then, and I hope and pray that you some more moments of peace soon. We all have our ups and downs. Life seems to work that way. When you find yourself on one of those down moments, I hope you can look back here, and see that those moments pass, and the up moments are still to be had.
You know you have friends here who will lend their ears and hearts to you when ever you are in need. We see you. We hear you. You are loved, and you matter, friend. 
From: twixremix
hey aces!
thank you so much for sharing an update on how everything is going. i’m so sorry you started to go downhill and turned to self-harm… is there anything you’d like to vent about or receive support on regarding those feelings you had then? we all are always here to love, support, and get the best help for you especially before it reaches the degree of self-harm. i am thankful that you were able to get to a hospital though.
i think your karting race is an excellent metaphor to how much you can strive towards and achieve by avoiding those intense crashes into barriers. you are so valued, so loved, and so incredible that it’d be heartbreaking to know anything harmful happened to someone like you - someone who can appreciate sunrises on an 8-mile run (lmao i’d be so out of breath by then, i hope those runs can help you get any negative emotions out!).
i’m proud of you and your progress, it seems like you are doing great with your sleeping schedule, eating regularly, and pulling through! i believe in you fully to keep on racing towards your goals, avoiding those barriers and taking home all the medals. you’ve got this, aces!
love,
twix
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