Lost a good friend 9 months ago and it been hitting me so hard. Can’t escape the constant reminders of him in my day to day life. So many people keep telling me to get over it already he’s gone and not coming back. How long is to long to grieve? It’s making me feel like it’s wrong that I’m grieving over this loss still.
Hey Adam! First off, Im so sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. It’s tough when you lose someone you’ve been close with (a long time for you I assume). I lost my father over a year ago and I’m still finding myself grieving over his sudden passing at times. With the people saying “Get over it”…don’t listen to them! They’ve probably haven’t lost anyone important in their lives or they think that’s how grieving works. You don’t just “Get over” a loved ones death. You just get used to it as time moves forward. Have you looked into grief counseling? I suggest to give it a try if you can find a grief counselor or group in your area.
Hold fast, Adam
Have been doing grief counseling but it honestly is not making a difference feel like it makes it worse.
Well what they’re doing is wrong. Grief is as variable as the people in this world. If you’re still grieving that is you not them. They need to STFU. (Excuse my language).
Each individual grieves in their own way & gets over it in their own time. The hurt may be alleviated, but the hurt will never go away.
I am sorry for your loss.
I hope better times & more understanding people come for you.
Been told so many times to get over it I just feel like it’s wrong to be grieving so long and it’s not right.
like I’ve mentioned already, it’s been over a year since my father passed away and I’m still grieving at times. My mom cries almost every single night for my dad and there are a lot of things that act as triggers that cause my mom to think of him almost all the time.
Hi, Adam. I’m so very sorry for the loss of your friend. Grieving is so difficult, and what makes it so difficult is that it varies from person to person, and from day to day - even moment to moment.
I lost my dad 16 years ago, and there are still days when grief will rise up. It doesn’t necessarily get better, it just gets less bad. I had someone tell me to “get over it” as well - a month after my dad had died from an illness which spanned years. Sometimes, people just don’t get it.
There’s nothing wrong with you at all. Grief is called a “process” for good reason. It takes time, sometimes lots of time.
Be good and kind to yourself. Know that, in time, you will come to the point where you will be able to focus on the entirety of your friend’s life rather than that brief time of their actual loss.
I’ll be thinking of you.
I’d say, grieve a year, after that if you can’t let go and pass days without reminders, go talk to a professional. It is OK to move on. You might feel guilty in doing so, but I am sure this person would want you to live a happy life.
Martin / ThatOldDutchGuy
Dear Adam, I’m so, so sorry for your loss. Grief is a companion that will be with you for the rest of your life.
It is NEVER WRONG to grieve. When you accept this, life will become easier.
When I was 17, I lost the love of my life and over 30 years later I still sometimes dream of him.
Please allow the “get over it” comments help you to choose who to distance yourself from while you heal/grieve.
You need supportive, understanding friends around you: not just during this season of your life, but always.
Sending lots of positive vibes your way <3
Hi Adam -
Thanks for reaching out and I’m so sorry for your loss. Personally, I don’t think grief has a time limit. I lost my grandma almost 10 years ago and I still think about her daily. Often times I cry. It’s a normal part of healing. Some days are harder than others, especially around the holidays.
It never goes away. It just gets a little bit easier. Find friends who will understand and support you through the rough times.
Sending you positive thoughts your way, along with some virtual hugs. Be good to yourself and take care. <3
Hey! I’m sorry to hear about your friend! You aren’t wrong to greive. I know it hurts. What I would do is start out by doing small things for yourself in your day to day life. Let yourself hurt for a while and talk to other people about it like you are doing now. I hope you start feeling better.
Honestly there is no time limit on grieving. You just have to take it one day at a time one foot in front of the other. I lost my mom in 2010 and my dad in 2008 and trust me i still feel it. You will always have that hole that person used to have in your heart. You are going to be angry, sad, or confused that is all part of the grieving process you just have to keep going forward and honor their memory.
Just makes me feel in the wrong when everyone keeps telling me to get over it already and move on.
Well u will get over it eventually in your own time u just need to be patient with yourself