How much is left?

I’m a 45 year old man, single, no kids, no real relationships. Grew up with an abusive alcoholic father who passed away in my early 20’s. I find myself drinking quite a bit now (everyday). I work in construction and it is miserable. From dealing with bitchy customers, total dick contractors and other tradesmen. I’m way behind financially , like way behind. Always $1 away from homelessness. Everything is super expensive here in California and it’s a real bummer. I honestly feel like I do not belong here anymore.

hey man. My father grew up in the same situation. my parents got divorced at a young age and that cause him to spiral out. resolving to alcohol for quite some time because i had been taken away from him by my mother. When i was a freshman he started going to church and he was struggling with the feeling of not belonging. he went and shortly found his footing in the world with people that cared after it seemed all hope was lost. i just want you to remember that you do belong and you matter. im so proud that you’ve made it this far and i love you man. hold fast, god has a plan for you.

Thank you man. It’s good to know I am not alone here. I want to change it, just feel like im in a rut.