How much responsibiltity can I actually handle?

I´ve always been a pretty independent person, even as a little child I would do my stuff alone and wouldn´t like to ask for help or advice, and it was okay because I would usually be okay on my own. Naturally people gave me a ton of responsibilty and trusted me with a lot of stuff, and I enjoyed it because I felt useful and a bit important.
But then I started to struggle and things got more complicated, because people would still have me over their stuff and would leave me in charge of things, but know I wasn´t really able to handle it all.
When I had my absolute downfall, I gave up on trying to be responsible and I felt even more useless than ever before. I needed to do things for others because I believed I can only be loved if I do things for people, like I have to earn their love and acceptance.

Now I am almost 2 years sober and I´ve been handed over a lot of responsiblitiy again during these 2 years, and it feels good, but often I feel like no one should trust me because I am not sure if I can handle it all and if I just break in the process and fall again.

Tomorrow I will go on a weekend trip with friends to babysit their little kids while they have important meetings. I am already their backup plan, so if I don´t go, they don´t know what to do with their kids. I love babysitting and I love my friends, but I am worried that I won´t be able to handle it all by myself and something will go wrong. I´m scared I will break and the little ones will hate the time there. I´m scared that even though I try my best to function and force myself that it has to work, that it will overwhelm me and I´ll break down.

I don´t want to disappoint anyone, and I don´t want the girls to be uneasy without their parents there.

I am not sure how much responsibilty I can actually handle.


Just take it moment by moment Fiji you will do great just remember to breath

Love to you


just pray and tell everything to god so your worries will be lighter and
trust yourself