How not to loose hope with everything going on

Hello everyone, its been a while.

I’ve actually been quite good these past few months. Had been taking my antidepressants for quite some time but the side effects are just not managable long term so I’ve stopped them again.

The worries and fears have started coming out again. I’m from Germany so the war in Ukraine feels really close. It’s scaring me a lot. I’m worried about my safety but I’m also worried about the prices going up. I’m worried about the future a lot. I’ll hopefully be able to move in with my boyfriend sometime next year. But at the moment I am so scared I might not even live until next year. That the war will escalate or that I’ll loose my Job. Or that I will get cancer.

Even if I know that some of these worries are unnecessary, that it’s very unlikely for these things to happen, I can’t get these thoughts out of my head. It seems so inevitable. The world seems even more scary these days and I don’t know how to handle it.

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“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”
― Nelson Mandela

Hello there Kira,

I am so proud of you for reaching out and looking for encouragement through this difficult time in life. I can only imagine how life looks for you right now & all of your feelings are incredibly valid. Our thoughts & fears can be overwhelming at times & want to take control. I hope you can find peace with your boyfriend & the excitement that you feel about moving in together. You will be in my thoughts & prayers as you walk this path that was placed in front of you.

You are strong. You are valid. You are amazing. You matter. :yellow_heart:

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From: twixremix

hi kira!

so happy to hear from you again, my friend. thank you for posting this update and knowing that this community will always have your back. i’m proud of you for sticking to your antidepressants for this long but totally understand how the side effects can sometimes outweigh the pros of taking them. have you been able to chat with your doctor prescribing the antidepressants that you need to stop the current meds and find an option that can alleviate the worries and fears you experience? i wish so badly that there could be a pill that doesn’t deteriorate the body while also supporting the mind and any mental illnesses inside it… i am hopeful that it is in our future but it’s up to us to communicate with our doctors to find the least harmful medicine to manage things.

my heart breaks for you and everyone around you as you face the effects of the war in ukraine. there are a lot of new things you have to consider and plan for with these new hardships but i hope that the move into your boyfriend’s place is a smooth transition! in such dark times, the only thing we can hold on to is hope, whether it be valid or not sometimes. while it’s good to plan ahead for different routes your life could take with this war, i think the best thing for your mental and physical health is to keep the hope alive for a life living with your boyfriend soon. any obstacles that arise can be worked through, i promise you this. and your HS community is here with you through anything. hope to hear from you soon, my friend, you will be in my thoughts throughout this war but i know you’ll make it out safely to the other side. hold tightly to that hope.

love,
twix

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From: eloquentpetrichor

Welcome back, kira! I’m glad you’ve posted again to share with us. I’m glad things are going well with your boyfriend. I’m so sorry the war is happening and has you worrying about the future. I cannot imagine the stress of having a war so close and having it cause that fear in your daily life.

I think the best we can do right now is have hope. I know that’s lame but hope is really all that we have when the world looks dark. Try to focus on the good. Focus on the world around you as it is now. Try to keep thoughts of your fears away. Enjoy the nice days and take walks in nature. Embrace the present because the truth is that the future is completely unknown and all we ever have is the present. Right now the war is in another place. Right now you have peace and you have the safety of your borders.

I hope you find a way to embrace the present and leave the future always one day out of reach :hrtlegolove:

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Hey @kira,

Thank you so much for reaching out today. Whenever our mind is affect by worries of all kind, it is always good and healthy to write it down somewhere, even just for a few minutes.

Our world is very chaotic indeed, and we receive so much information every day about so many things that horrible. Fears are not necessarily realistic, but they are still valid for they exist and affect how we feel. There’s only so much that we can process and digest though. So on the matter of war and world news in general, I would highly recommend you to set some strong limits there in the amount of news you would read/hear every day, or every week. Staying aware of what’s going on gives this weird sense of control at first, but really stepping away from the news can be a gift to your mind and heart. And if someone brings some topics up that are too stressful to you, you can always kindly say that you’d prefer not to talk about it because it makes you feel anxious. I’ve personally learned to do that since Covid started, and people generally completely understand and respect it.

Again, feeling anxious and worried is completely valid given the state of our world. At some point though, you need to preserve your peace and focus on you. To me personally, when I feel overwhelmed like this, I try to see it as a red flag that pushes me to slow down and take care of myself. Something that helps is to clarify what is in our control and what isn’t. If you feel like a lot of your worries are things you can’t control, then it’s the sign that you will need to add some extra love and care in your routines, and cultivate things that are peaceful, relaxing and enjoyable for you. For me, it looks like drawing more, having walks in nature more often or for a longer time, playing games/watching movies that are a feel-good type (nothing stressful or with graphic stuff), but also working and giving time around here in this community. All of this helps me to reconnect with myself, with my heart, with what makes sense to me, what I value, the people I love and what I can control. Fears are still present! But they are a lot less controlling. We get to create the distance with them thanks to all the things that bring life to us. You may not be able to change the world or know the future. But you can choose right here and right now to start acknowledging the beauty, love and sparks of joy that are already present in your life.

We can’t control what’s going on in Ukraine, we can’t control the possibility of getting sick, we can’t control the possibility of losing something or someone that matter to us. What we can control though, is what we do in the present moment. And some steps can actually be a step against those fears! Eating a healthy meal? That is something you can do for your health. Saying to your boyfriend that you love him? That is something you can do for your relationship. Spending some time in nature? That is something you can do for your body and mind in order to breathe again. On that specific example, I also can’t recommend enough to reconnect with nature as much as you can. Spend time observing it, listening to the sounds of birds singing, looking at ants moving stuff around for their survival, seeing the delicate bees and bumblebees getting pollen out of flowers. Even if some spaces feel chaotic, life is still happening all around us. But we need to put different glasses and magnify our focus on those things, so our perception changes and our heart feels full again. Nature in itself teaches us so many lessons of resilience in the midst of hardships. Take time to look at it and pay attention. There is peace and contentment to find in the beauty of life unfolding around us.

Hold Fast. :hrtlegolove:

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