How that changed my life

[bianka]

my first wall post was about my best friends suicide which affected my life completely so if you didn’t read that go now and come back to this

so its almost been 2 years since it happened, i still didn’t reach out to my mom to ask her why did she lie to me about his death (she might wanted to keep me happy for more time). I knew something was not ok so i found out by myself that he took his own life. It traumatized me of course… It is hard to believe that ur closest friend was in major pain without your knowledge. I started talking ab my past and about him about 6 months ago because i couldn’t keep it inside me any longer. Firstly i told the story to my ex best friend and she replied: " Oh you will forget about it in a few weeks. Stay chill. " i told her shes wrongand our friendship ended a few days later.
All her friends started criticizing me because i opened up about my past. I started being bullied and having no more people i can socialize with. At some point i decided to delete every app i had in my phone (instagram,snapchat…) I was gone for 10 days and i felt amazing but i installed the apps again and there was only one conversation full of messages, it was not from any people from school, it was a girl that i started talking to who lives in the Netherlands . She was spamming my chat eith messages: " hey are u ok? please text back? please tell me you didn’t do it? bianka are u ok?" i was in shook ofc
She cared and no one else did…

Thhis is the end of the story❤️

[e.thehuman]

I’m really sorry about the way the news about your friend was handled. I think your mum was trying to protect you from something so painful, and maybe that wasn’t the right way to do it. As humans we make mistakes even when we are trying to do the right thing. How did your talk with her go?
The way your friend replied to you breaks my heart. I had an ex friend do the same thing to me. I had a friend pass away and this ex friend got mad at me for “bringing her down” and “not getting over it”. Losing someone is hard and everyone handles grief differently. You should not be feel guilty for your grief.

As for bullying that’s also something I connect with, but I hope that it’s stopped and that you as a person see your value and can heal from those hurtful words and actions.

Thank you for sharing

[bianka]

hello friend!
i think everyone goes to this “phases” at some point right? the world should be more opened about this things. They might sound “basic” but at the same point they have a major impact in our life. I hope you are good now! Take care! <3

[e.thehuman]

That’s correct that everyone has different experiences through life and no matter if it seems “basic”, it’s okay to reach out if it impacts you. Glad you’re here sharing!