How to be excited about job oportunity?

So, I’m a teacher. I teach a state-tested subject in a coach dominated subject. Basically, coaches get the easy jobs and I get the stressful ones. I’ve been looking for a new job for a couple of years. I thought I was going to have to get out of teaching. I’ve been told ‘no’ so many times. I couldn’t even get a job at WalMart. It’s been a bad couple of years. Couple of years ago, I told my boss that I was burned out and stressed out and needed a change. He said, Sure, I’ll take care of you if there’s an opening in your department. But he lied (and boy did I call him out on it). They moved another (non-coach) teacher into my dream job. They said I was irreplaceable-- no one could do my job as well as I could. The lower boss said that “Principals are taught how to lie, it’s just part of it”. They back peddled big time. I was crushed. I don’t think the people closest to me know how much this affected me. I felt betrayed. I felt like all of my hard work had been for nothing. But I couldn’t get another job. So I was stuck. It was like being stuck in an abusive relationship, but I couldn’t get out. It played on my mental health. I had to get back on anti-depressants. I would get anxiety just driving to work. I didn’t know how to trust anyone. I’m still dealing with this.
Today, he calls me in to tell me that they are moving me into a non-coaching position and they are posting my job. He tells me I work hard and take care of my kids. It was wild. I had to sit in front of this person that I don’t trust- it was like a 360. I asked for it in writing. I wanted it signed by higher ups. (This way if he lied this time, I’d have documentation-- I don’t think it would help me, but it would make me feel better). The boss and the other boss had questions about me wanting this. And I basically had to tell them that I didn’t trust them, or anyone. They knew I had been struggling with my mental health this year ( but they are too oblivious to understand that they caused it). They said they would do what I want and I could trust them. They wanted to make sure I could trust them. 2 other co-workers said they have all been working to make this happen. They didnt understand why I wasn’t more excited. But all I could say was “This will be good if it does happen. We’ll see.”
How do I get excited for this? How do I get my hopes up? How do I let myself have this incredible, and I mean INCREDIBLE win? I’m just waiting for someone to yell “Sike!”.


to me, asking for documentation seems like a practical thing because they’re unreliable.
Not getting is understandable too, because you don’t know it’s really real, again because they’re unreliable.

I’d say to wait until you get confirmation, then get excited. You’re protecting yourself now from disappointment and that seems fine. I’m assuming if it is properly confirmed, you will react more positively?
Let the coworkers babble on, ask them what their basis is and remind them not to trust verbal confirmations. You do you, you seem to have a good head on your shoulders. I do hope that you’re working with someone for your mental health this year, so that you have the support you need.

We’re here for you, rooting that this new job comes through, but also here for you if you need to vent or rant about these untrustworthy bosses! Hoping you get time for self care until you hear something concrete!


I agree with Sita, it’s probably not a good idea to get too excited - yet. Have you asked about specific dates for when this change is to occur? That might give you a bit more peace, and also solidify their commitment to put you into that position. I’ve made myself promotion proof in the past for the same reason - doing my job too well, but I didn’t like where I’d end up if they promoted me anyway. I had a hard time blaming my boss for wanting to keep me where I was. It was an awful job with very unpleasant people, but it was much worse before I got there.

Try not to be discouraged, even if you’re holding off on the excitement.

Keep us posted!

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