How to cope with emotional dysregulation?

Someone please help, im not getting medical help on this and i feel so alone and unsure what to do. everytime something tiny happens, i get full of rage, despair or fear and im tired of it, im tired of living like this please someone help.

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From: ᏒᎧᏕᎥᏋ

Hi Friend, I’m sorry you’re experiencing this, I suffer from uncontrolled rage. You can look on youtube for videos about rage and how to cope and there is a therapy called Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and you can buy the workbook and do it on your own. It’s designed for people who have emotional deregulation and gives tools on how to cope. I just recently finished a two month therapy program where this was taught and I got a lot out of it. I highly recommend you looking into it. ~Mystrose

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I’m glad you took the time to write your post. Being alone can be very emotionally painful and destabilizing. You’re not alone here, but I suspect you’re looking for more than a few Wall posts.

I’m not a counselor! Just a fellow sojourner doing life too. I have a few questions. Do you think that you are so low on resources/ways of coping that when something tiny happens you get full of rage, despair or fear, or are you full of rage, despair or fear from something else that a tiny thing causes it to spill over? Is there something I haven’t thought to ask that’s making you so tired of living the way you are? You said your not getting medical help. Do you have any support system.

My heart goes out to you~

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From: ManekiNeko

I’m so glad you’re here! I can imagine that it feels lonely and isolating when you’re struggling to balance your emotions without feeling there’s help out there. Can I ask if professional help is something that you have had in the past or has been accessible for you? Sometimes it can be helpful for someone to talk about how you’re feeling and find the balance of what steps to take to regulate. Sometimes it feels like you have to be stuck with this and it has to be normal, but I do hope that someone can perhaps guide you to find some peace about it.

personally for me it took medication for me to realise that the emotions of fear and anxiety and depression weren’t normal and weren’t all there is to life. And by no means am I suggesting it’s what you have to do or what you need, it’s just nice hearing what options there are, even if it’s just talking to someone and feeling seen and heard. Because you matter and don’t deserve to keep feeling this way. Your feelings are valid. I do hope you find some peace this week.

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Hello @v4ventetta

Been a bit since I have chatted with you, sorry to see you are going through some stuff lately. I know lately for me the world has been full of a lot of “noise” with negative stuff in media, getting used to working in person, etc. I find myself in times like that where I’m overwhelmed I get a very short fuse temper, I get sad and happy easily but it is always very mercurial in nature. I do believe this is somewhat along the lines of where you have been?

When I start noticing these symptoms I know that I need to take more time to myself. Things that can be really helpful is finding some quiet time to process those feelings and think through what is causing the anger or frustration. Maybe there is a need not being met(sleep/food/water), maybe some interaction with someone is weighing heavily on me, or even just exhausted mentally from overstimulated by surroundings. But the key for me is to get some time and let myself cycle through the feeling so it doesn’t keep surging up. Having something tactile to ground myself as I think helps me. Even something like a bottle cap with a rough texture lid as I mull over those thoughts can help just to hold on to something.

It’s definitely not something you are going through alone, even though it can feel so very isolating and lonely when you feel like you have no control of your emotions. There are many of us out there just trying to sort out life one day at a time. Please know we have your back too even if we are not feeling the same way in this moment.

We are with you <3/Mish

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From: Rohini_868

hi there,

It’s good to see you, and I’m so sorry that you’re experiencing such a rough time. I have a small query, if i may ask: when you say, "im not getting medical help on this ", is it that you haven’t been able to see someone or that you just don’t want to see someone about it?

What are some of these “tiny things” that happen? Is there a pattern or can it be anything? Thank you for reaching out, we’re here whenever you need a safe space to vent your emotions, and hopefully that can also help you. As always, I’m glad you’re here with us and part of this wonderful community. You matter, and we’re here for you always. We’ll stay with you through this journey, friend.

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From: twixremix

hey friend,

thank you for being here on the forum and sharing these feelings that you’re experiencing whenever something happens. i hear you, i understand you, and i’ve definitely been there where you feel like you’re so so so close to breaking down completely if one other tiny things goes wrong. it’s exhausting, scary, and confusing. while i don’t have the full scope of what you’re going through, this sounds to me like burnout where your body jumps to extreme reactions because of this total exhaustion. in my experience, distance, both physically and mentally, from what stresses you and pulls you down is necessary.

i believe in you to make it through this rough time. you are absolutely not alone in these emotions and i hope that you are able to take time to care for yourself. you deserve to have peace and you will regain that. be easy on your heart, my friend, you got this.

love,
twix

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From: eloquentpetrichor

Hello there, v4ventetta :hrtlegolove:
I’m sorry you are feeling lost and alone. Hopefully after reading these messages you will feel a little less alone. We are here.

When things get to be too much and rage or fear starts to fill your heart I hope you can take a breath and remember that the feeling is fleeting and when it leaves you are left with all the stress it leaves behind. The more you let those negative emotions fill you the longer it will affect you after you are free of it. Count to ten. Take a deep breath. Focus on the world around you and the smallest things. Don’t focus on the anger or fear so that it cannot hold you. Focus on everything else around you; anything else around you.

You are strong and you are awesome. We are always here. Count to ten :hrtlegolove:

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Hey V4Venteta,

Take a moment, and take a breath.

And now take another.

I am sorry that you are going through these overwhelming emotions right now, as well as in the past. Having such a strong emotional reactions to events/situations can be very draining, so I can fully understand your frustrations and exhaustion with having to deal with it over and over again. Especially if you can’t/don’t have a medical support system to help you try to deal with this.

What I can try to say, is identify what those tiny things seems to be. Maybe try to find a pattern in the things, or in your own mood, that triggers your emotional reactions, and see what can be done to avoid/cope. You aren’t alone in this, friend. You can come to us and vent/talk at any time, and maybe get a good piece of advice and support back. Please, take care of yourself, and go easy on yourself.

You got this.

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Hey V,

I am so sorry that you are going through it right now. Are there some things that could help redirect your emotions from where they tend to go? Do you have anything that you are particularly interested in right now? Do you notice what the things are that normally set it off? Maybe you could find things to replace them if that is a possibility.

I know one thing that helps me when I need to redirect my emotions is that I use essential oils. Lavender, peppermint & Thieves are some of my favorites. They help me focus, calming & just make me happy because they are some of my favorite smells. Even doing something like changing up your atmosphere…one of my favorites is standing in the rain: the coolness, the randomness of the raindrops & the smell help me as well.

I hope you find something that helps you. You are valid. You are strong. You matter.

-StarFox :yellow_heart:

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From: Lisalovesfeathers

Hi Friend, I understand what you mean when you talk of feeling alone and unsure about how you are reacting to circumstances however small that are possibly beyond your control but here is the thing, these are emotions that you are recognising which is a good thing, if you were just randomly behaving in this way with no acknowledgement then we would have more of a problem. In past posts you have talked about your anxiety levels and that alone can cause reactions like you speak of and yes its exhausting but it can be changed, by firstly trying to learn to manage your anxiety and then learning how to react differently to situations which I truly believe you will find so much easier when the anxiety is helped. I would encourage you to please see if you can get some for of therapy to work on your anxiety levels and take a look at the help that Mystrose has posted for you. We are here for you any time you need us, you are never alone. Much Love Lisalovesfeathers. x

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