I feel so hopeless. I left my company, I started a new job and moved in with the woman of my dreams. Lately she has been so cold and unloving towards me and I’m not sure how to change it or if it can move forward. We’ve been together for almost a year now and it was long distance until I quit my job and moved in with her. I started a new job and am not always on her schedule but it’s there for the most part. I try so hard to be loving toward her and pour myself out and she just snaps. It’s like a switch is flicked and she is just abrasive and cold. After this i will ask her if she wants me to be around her and she often says no or “I don’t care”. It hurts me so much when she does this and makes me feel so rejected and just unloved. Tonight was supposed to be us together and just spending time together but it seems like half the time she wants nothing to do with me. I feel unloved and unappreciated and unwanted in a lot of ways. I just want to feel loved by her. I don’t want to feel like a burden or that I’m just here. It hurts me a lot and I don’t know how to deal with it or talk about it with her without it causing more problems. I’m thinking about looking for apartments so I don’t bother her. It just breaks me and makes me want to shrivel up and die. All I want is to feel loved and appreciated but that affection is just not there. I don’t know what I did wrong or how to not make her feel like this. I just feel so crushed
I am sorry that you are feeling like this. I can understand the feeling of living with the girl of your dreams and it then feeling as you do. In my experience these are some questions you may want to ask yourself…
Did you move in together for the convince of living with one another?
Are you giving each other your own space within your home?
What are your communication styles? What is your partners love language?
It may be that moving in together was something that your relationships could not handle just yet, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t still be together. You need to COMMUNICATE with your partner. These feelings are not something you can navigate alone. If your partner is serious about staying with you and making your relationship work TOGETHER, they will listen, compromise and work with you to make your relationship work. If they are not willing to do so, maybe it is best that some time apart is spent or the relationship ends. It is not worth you feeling the way you do when someone out there will love you for you, and put in the effort that is required to please you.
I wish you the best of luck!
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