How to deal with rejection

Hey there,
it’s my first time posting here, so I apologize in advance if my english isn’t perfect since it isn’t my 1st language.

So, a couple of months ago I met this girl online and we have been writing quite a lot and even met up a couple of times. We had really good times and she said that she enjoys it as well.
So I started to get feelings for her and I didn’t really know how to deal with all that, if that makes sense. I finally decided to tell her just that. Unfortunately she didn’t feel the same for me which is, of course, fine and it’s not like I didn’t consider that that might be the case. She told me she really likes me but she isn’t ready yet.
Since then I kind of don’t know how to deal with all that. To make things worse, I feel like I’m starting to go down the spiral again, feeling worse from day to day.
Does anyone have an advice? How do you deal with that?

Much love <3


Hello @Morbid

Welcome to Heart Support! Thank you for posting.

I’m really sorry that your friend wasn’t interested romantically in you. That’s hard to deal with and it can be pretty discouraging and hurtful.

There have been times in my life where I developed feelings for someone who didn’t feel the same way about me. When you have feelings for someone, the next step is to tell them and it’s always a risk. You don’t know how the other person is going to react. Sometimes, the other person isn’t interested tho, so that’s really hard to deal with.

This type of rejection has nothing to do with you as a person (or them), it just means you were not compatible as a couple. It’s something we all have to go thru in order to find our person. We have to date, have relationships, break up and all that stuff. It’s like trying on clothes to see what fits, if that makes sense.

You haven’t met everyone in your life who will love you yet, so don’t give up. Keep looking :hrtlegolove:


From: ManekiNeko

you wrote beautifully, thank you for sharing what’s going on. It’s very brave of you to express your feelings and thoughts to someone else. It’s not always easy and sometimes that fear of perceived rejection holds us back.

it’s one positive to note that you have been spiralling and maybe it feels like this feeling of rejection has lead to deeper feelings and plays on your mind? Not to assume that’s how you’re feeling at all, so please forgive me if that isn’t the case.
what I can note is that a few months is a short time to know someone. If you want to keep this person close and in your life, I think it’s a great idea to take it as it comes. Maybe the outcome could be a relationship or maybe it remains a friendship, but being mindful of each others expectations and boundaries is important.


From: Lisalovesfeathers

Hi Friend and welcome to Heart Support its good to meet you. This new relationship/friendshipe sounds really nice and like its going well, of course right now its still very early days and you are still getting to know oneanother properly so although you already like her a lot, she may take longer to have similar feeling or on the other hand over time you may not have as strong a feelings , time changes many things and that is why its actually a really good idea to have the patience to wait a little while to really get to know oneanother properly before making any decisions to move forward in your relationship. One thing is for sure, if you do wait and you do both end up happy and together it will worth the wait. I wish you both the best of luck. Lisa. x


Hi Morbid,
welcome to Heart Support, thank you for sharing.
it is always hard, when it comes to heart. when it comes to feelings. you booth enjoy the time together, you booth
enjoy the company of each other, and i think that also should be your and her focus.
enjoy the moment, as much as you can. she is not ready yet, does not mean no. but also not yes. and i know
it is easier said then done. i am also bad, when it comes to feelings towards someone.
when your heart takes over your mind, things get complicated. i would say, be honest with yourself, with her and
also take good care of you. write your thoughts down that you have and look at them. look at what you have
this far. a great friendship, with someone who enjoys you. time will tell the truth, as always.
find things that distract you from thinking. set yourself boundaries and talk with someone. go easy on yourself and
don’t pressure things. you do great. in the end, you my friend matter most. you are loved :purple_heart:
feel hugged


From: Microsmos

Hey friend.

It takes a LOT of courage to open up about such intimate feelings. Not only you’ve been honest, vulnerable, but you’ve also faced the possibility of rejection, which is really huge and manifests a lot of strength.

To quote your title and post, I personally wouldn’t see it as rejection per say. If she said that she isn’t ready yet, then she might be considering that there could be room for feelings to blossom, but also that she simply needs time. You’ve known each other for a couple of months so you definitely have still a lot to learn about each other. She may need to keep getting to know you and explore this relationship step by step.

On a different note, I hear how her response to you has triggered something deeper, something that could be tied to a need for affection, care, connection. When someone isn’t interested by a romance for example, or have different feelings, that will never make you less valuable or unworthy of being alive and of seeking happiness. How someone perceives you, loves you, cares for you, will never be tied to your inner worth. But embracing this as a truth, for many of us (and I include myself in this statement), is really a learning process. In this situation, I would encourage you to pause a little and reflect on how this makes you feel. What does her words would say about you, in your opinion?

Thank you once again for being here and sharing something that is difficult. You’re loved, no matter what. <3


From: Manni XP - Snow Edition

That sounds painful, Morbid. Thanks for sharing here! It sounds like you made a cool friend, and it’s definitely understandable to want someone that cool to play a larger role in your life. I would very much like for you to consider if you were okay with things as they were right before. Did you enjoy chatting and hanging out? Would it be okay with you if the relationship stayed that way?


From: eloquentpetrichor

Hello, Morbid, and welcome to the community! I know that can be a difficult thing to experience but my advice to you is to embrace your friendship with her and not worry about your extra feelings. They may go away on their own. Friendship is one of the greatest things in the world and if you value her as a friend I hope that you can embrace it. Good luck! And I hope you share with us again :hrtlegolove:


Hey everyone :slightly_smiling_face:

I just wanted to say thank you for all the responses. I’m kind of overwhelmed.
Even though it’s hard right now, I’m sure it will get better over time. At least I’m a little hopefull that it does.

Thank you again :mending_heart:


Take all the time you need to process, @Morbid. We’re all rooting for you. :hrtlegolove: