HS Houston Fan A4

This post is from an anonymous person in Houston who would like support

What is the #1 pressing anxiety on your mind today?:

Accomplishing goals in balance and unrealistic personal deadlines

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From: Microsmos (Discord)

Hey friend, thank you so much for sharing about what’s stressing you lately. The Support team had a conversation a little earlier about how we relate to what you described, and we can definitely relate each in our own ways. I personally relate to the struggle of finding balance in your goals and having unrealistic expectations regarding those, whether it’s about deadlines, the amount of work that is done or how it’s done. Lately I’ve reached out on the Support Wall as well and explained how much I was feeling burnt out because of my own mind and anxiety. I wake up everyday with this To Do list in my mind that just overwhelms me and put an insane pressure on my shoulders, to the point of freezing and not doing anything… which bring its share of shame, guilt, and feeling of being a failure. I’ve often heard here and there, and suggested to others, that small steps are really important, but never really understood that reality until recently. To break down this cycle of workaholism/freeze response, I’ve been trying to reframe my goals, lessen my expectations to make them more realistic as well. Clearly, it’s not realistic to try to clean my whole apartment in an afternoon while being depressed…! But cleaning one to five things in a room during a day IS realistic and IS a step forward. It can be incredibly challenging to accept those results as they are when we tend to seek perfection or aim unrealistic goals. My stubborn mind would repeat to myself that it’s not enough, that I should do better, and I should be able to do better, because I always compare myself to the person I want to be rather than the one I really am. I have limitations. I have needs, self care being one of those. And acknowledging that while aiming my personal goals, giving more space to ME while trying to progress in the direction I want, has happened to be a lot more effective than how I did in the past, because I have now more energy and motivation to reach those goals, at a healthier pace - even if it doesn’t meet my first expectations. Overall, my friend, this is about the perspective you have over your goals, and learning to change it, step by step. Your goals are never fixed, and the way to get there is always tied to your current circumstances - physically, emotionally as well. Please keep in mind that you are your very first resource for all of this! You need you, no matter which your goals are, and I really want to encourage you to give yourself time and space through all of this. Set realistic goals, and learn to be at peace with the results. Don’t hesitate to involve people you trust to help you with this. They might be of good advice too! We’re also here to support you as well. You are loved dearly. You matter to us. Hold fast, friend.

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From: j71s8 (Discord)

Thanks for taking the time to send a message! It can be so hard to balance the goals you want to accomplish within a reasonable deadline. In life there are so many things that go on which you are always planning to go right and they never do! Especially with COVID! It seems like every time you think you’ve got it down, you are further behind. It’s like you just took a camel from New York to London instead of the new Supersonic test flight you were scheduled to be on the test flight for! That’s ok though. When I was younger I used to be able to do a lot more tha I can now. I had a car accident which took away a lot of quick memory recall, and quick response time for my body and it has made me redefine my life. It is totally ok to slow things down. Slowing down on purpose will definitely help you speed up. Take some time to write down what you are doing and do some block scheduling. Casey has some great videos on twitch about how to do it. If you would like to see some of those videos, just let me know, i can post the videos! You are loved! You matter! You are cared for greatly!

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