Hurting and Trying

I sometimes think of my ex we were together for 5 years in a long distance relationship. She recently broke up with me last month and she told me she’s thinking about getting back with me. I always text her " are you still thinking about it?" and she gets mad at me and ignores me, it hurts me really bad i can’t let go of us its really hard, i cry over it sometimes. Just want someone that i can make happy because i work on myself alot but at the end of the day there’s no one there i can talk to and make smile.

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hi josiah, sorry that youre hurting. i know heartache is awful but i think you should give her space. let her come to the decision on her own bc at the end of the day, if she agrees to get back together, you would want it to come from her own heart, not bc she feels bad or pressured. try to keep yourself distracted until she replies to you. youre stronger than you think. you got this. plus, if you ever need ppl to talk to every day, just come to the discord and let it out! (-:

Hi, Josiah.

Break ups are hard. Heck, long distance relationships are hard. I’ve been there.

Sounds like space may be a healthy thing right now. Which sucks and I’m sorry friend. It’s never an easy process. I know. But maybe a little time to just think about what you both want for your future, relationships and even your current needs, is a good thing. That way if she does decide to get back with you, you can feel confident in your goals and the direction you want to go.

I know that loneliness and the desire to have someone to be close to can cause us to jump into and even back to previous relationships that maybe wouldn’t work out, just for the sake of not having to be alone. I’ve been there.

Love and relationships can take time. But don’t lose hope my friend. This one may not have worked out, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t worth loving.

What are some things you hope to have in your future and in your relationships? What is important to you? What are some things that weren’t working out this time that you can work on and strengthen or be more mindful of? What are some things you see in yourself that could be improved? And what are some things that are your strengths? I really sat down and thought about these things in my last break up and then before getting into a new relationship, I communicated things I’m looking for in a relationship and in my future. I expressed things that I value and are important for me. Like communication. I laid it out before I committed so that they knew it was something I needed in order for it to work. I shared a little on how I think and process things so that we could better know how to talk to each other.

I don’t set high standards, I just set realistic standards. To avoid conflict, drama and issues later. If you go into another long distance relationship, what are some things that can be done to help nurture that relationship and realistic goals so that it can work out?

It’s important to be honest with ourselves and with those we want to be with about our feelings, our hopes, dreams, desires. And it’s important that you’re able to talk about those things openly.

Do you know what caused this break up? Was it just distance that became hard? Or was it something that maybe needed nurturing? It’s a good place to start. To help yourself figure out if it is a healthy relationship to go back to or if maybe better to move on. If it’s not truly healthy, having space and time to heal may be a better decision than trying to fight for something that probably won’t work out. Don’t set yourself up for more hurt.

But all relationships have issues. Even the best of ones. So if she does want to get back together, talk about it. Talk it out.

But it seems like maybe she needs time. Don’t pressure it my friend. Give it some time. I know that’s easier said than done, especially when you care for someone, but you don’t have to go at this alone. You matter and we care.

I’m sorry my friend. It truly sucks when relationships we carry for so long, end.

It can get better. I hope that in whatever happens, you find peace and happiness.

We’re here.

  • Kitty

I was in a long distance relationship for 10 years and let me tell you things don’t always work out. In my case other people got involved and it caused our relationship to end. I am sorry what your going through